* * *

The following extract is from the diary of a New England woman who lived
in the eighteenth century:

"We had roast pork for dinner and the Doctor, who carved, held up a rib
on his fork, and said: 'Here, ladies, is what Mother Eve was made of.'"

"'Yes,' said sister Patty, 'and it is from very much the same kind of
critter'."

* * *

The little girl reported at home what she had learned at Sunday School
concerning the creation of Adam and Eve:

"The teacher told us how God made the first man and the first woman. He
made the man first. But the man was very lonely with nobody to talk to
him. So God put the man to sleep. And while the man was asleep, God took
out his brains, and made a woman of them."

WOMAN SUFFRAGE

During the agitation in behalf of woman's suffrage, an ardent advocate
pleaded with a tired-looking married woman, and said:

"Just think! Wouldn't you love to go with your husband to the voting
place, and there cast your vote along with his?"

The woman shook her head decisively and she answered:

"For goodness sake! If there's one single thing that a man's able to do
by himself, let him do it."

* * * * *

The following pages have been selected and edited by "Life's" famous
contributor

+ A. C.

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

_Oldest Inhabitant:_ "I never expected to live till the end of the War,
Ma'am; but now I'm hoping to be spared to see the beginning of the next
one."

* * *

"That's Betty Grant's new maid."

"She's much smarter than her mistress."

"Well, they can't _both_ afford to dress like that."

* * *

_Father:_ "Don't know the French for cat, and you had a French nurse for
years!"

_Hopeful:_ "But, Dad, we hadn't got a cat when Adele was with us."

* * *

_Betty_ (_after flash of lightning_): "Count quickly, Jenny! Make it as
far away as you possibly can."

* * *

_Employer:_ "John, I wish you wouldn't whistle at your work."

_Boy:_ "I wasn't working, Sir; only whistling."

* * *

_Mistress:_ "Oh, Jane, how _did_ you break that vase?"

_Maid:_ "I'm very sorry, Mum; I was accidentally dusting."

* * *

_Little Girl_