he judge, "that this is the person who knocked you
down with his motor-car. Could you swear to the man?"

"I did," returned the complainant, eagerly, "but he only swore back at
me and drove on."

* * *

A FUTURE FINANCIER

"Ma," exclaimed young Teddie, bursting into the house, "Mrs. Johnson
said she would give me a penny if I told her what you said about her!"

"I never heard of such a thing!" answered his mother indignantly.
"You're a very good boy not to have told! I wouldn't have her think I
even mentioned her. Here's an apple, sonny, for being such a wise little
lad!"

"I should think I am, ma! When she showed me the penny I told her that
what you said was something awful, and worth sixpence at least!"

* * *

A BAD CASE

"Rather absent-minded, isn't he?"

"Extremely so. Why, the other night when he got home he knew there was
something he wanted to do, but he couldn't remember what it was until he
had sat up over an hour trying to think."

"And did he finally remember it?"

"Yes, he discovered that he wanted to go to bed early."

* * *

BLACK SUPERSTITION

_Architect:_ "Have you any suggestions for the study, Mr. Quickrich?"

_Quickrich:_ "Only that it must be brown. Great thinkers, I understand,
are generally found in a brown study."

* * *

HALF A DUCK DEEP

Coming to a river with which he was unfamiliar, a traveller asked a
youngster if it was deep.

"No," replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found
that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.

When the traveller reached the other side he turned and shouted: "I
thought you said it wasn't deep?"

"It isn't," was the reply; "it only takes grandfather's ducks up to
their middles!"

* * *

COULDN'T RESIST IT

"Look here," began the youth, as he entered a butcher's shop, and
displayed two lovely-looking black-and-blue eyes, "you have fresh beef
for sale?"

"I have," responded the butcher.

"And fresh beef is good for black eyes, is it not?"

"It is."

"Very well. I have the eyes, you have the beef. Do you think you can
sell me a pound or so without asking how I got ornamented?"

"I'll do my best, sir."

The butcher cut off the meat, and received his money without another
look at his customer. At the last