moment, however, the old Adam proved
too strong for him.

"Look here," he said, handing back the cash, "I'll make you a present of
the beef. Now tell me all about the fight."

* * *

"Do you know anything about palmistry, Herbert?" she asked.

"Oh, not much," he answered, "although I had an experience last night
which might be considered a remarkable example of palmistry. I happened
to glance at the hand of a friend, and I immediately predicted he would
presently become the possessor of a considerable amount of money. Before
he left the room he had a nice little sum handed to him."

"And you foretold that from his hand?"

"Yes, it had four aces in it."

* * *

Young Harold was late for Sunday-school and the minister inquired the
cause. "I was going fishing, but father wouldn't let me," announced the
lad.

"That's the right kind of a father to have," replied the reverend
gentleman. "Did he explain the reason why he would not let you go?"

"Yes, sir. He said there wasn't bait enough for two."

* * *

"My good man, you had better take the trolley car home."

"Sh' no ushe! My wife wouldn't let me--hic--keep it in th' house."

* * *

_Mrs. Newlywed:_ "Oh, Jack, you left the kitchen door open and the
draught has shut my cookery book, so that now I haven't the faintest
idea what it is I'm cooking."

* * *

"Goin' in that house over there?" said the first tramp.

"I tried that house last week. I ain't goin' there any more," replied
Tramp No. 2.

"'Fraid on account of the dog?"

"Me trousers are."

"Trousers are what?"

"Frayed on account of the dog."

* * *

A QUESTION OF LOCALITY

"Bobby," said the lady in the tramcar, severely, "why don't you get up
and give your seat to your father? Doesn't it pain you to see him
reaching for the strap?"

"Not in a car," said Bobby. "It does at home."

* * *

HER SOFT ANSWER

They had had their usual altercation over the breakfast table, and hubby
exclaimed:

"What would you do if I were one of those husbands who get up cross in
the morning, bang the things about, and kick because the coffee is
cold?"

"Why," replied his wife, "I should make it hot for you!"