every light in the church went out."

The listeners exclaimed over the catastrophe.

"And what did the couple do then?" someone questioned.

"Kept on going. The widow knew the way."

* * *

A widow visited a spiritualistic medium, who satisfactorily produced
the deceased husband for a domestic chat.

"Dear John," the widow questioned eagerly, "are you happy now?"

"I am very happy," the spook assured her.

"Happier than you were on earth with me?" the widow continued, greatly
impressed.

"Yes," John asserted, "I am far happier now than I was on earth with
you."

"Oh, do tell me, John," the widow cried rapturously, "what is it like in
heaven?"

"Heaven!" the answer snapped. "I ain't in heaven!"

WIDOWHOOD

During the parade at the last encampment of the G.A.R., a woman in the
crowd of spectators made herself not only conspicuous, but rather a
nuisance by the way she carried on. She waved a flag with such vigor as
to endanger the bystanders and yelled to deafen them. An annoyed man in
the crowd after politely requesting her to moderate her enthusiasm,
quite without effect, bluntly told her to shut up.

"Shut up yourself!" she retorted in high indignation. "If you had buried
two husbands who had served in the war, you would be hurrahing, too."

WIFE

A young skeptic in the congregation once interrupted Billy Sunday with
the question:

"Who was Cain's wife?"

The Evangelist answered in all seriousness:

"I honor every seeker after knowledge of the truth. But I have a word of
warning for this questioner. Don't risk losing salvation by too much
inquiring after other men's wives."

WILD WOMEN

The old sea captain was surrounded at the tea party, to which his wife
had dragged him, much against his will, by a group of women pestering
him for a story from his adventures. Finally, at the end of his
patience, he began.

"Once, I was shipwrecked on the coast of South America, and there I came
across a tribe of wild women, who had no tongues."

"Mercy!" exclaimed all the fair listeners with one voice. "But they
couldn't talk."

"That," snapped the old sea captain, "was what made them wild."

WISDOM

It's a wise child that goes out of the room to laugh when the old man
mashes his thumb.

WOMAN

A cynic, considering the fact that women was the last thing made by God,
asserts that the product shows both His experience and His fatigue.