e with great rapidity services are paid for "in kind." Farmers,
for example, will give potatoes, eggs, etc., in payment for debts. A
young surgeon who had occasion to operate in one of these districts
hopefully approached the husband of the patient and asked for his fee,
which amounted to $100. "Doc," said the old man, "I haven't much ready
cash on hand. Suppose you let me pay you in kind." "Well, I guess that
will be all right," replied the young doctor, cheerfully. "What do you
deal in?" "Horseradish, doc," answered the old man.

* * *

The ferryboat was well on her way when a violent storm arose. The
ferryman and his mate, both Highlanders, held a consultation, and after
a short debate the ferryman turned to his passengers and remarked,
anxiously: "We'll just tak' your tuppences now, for we dinna ken what
micht come over us."

* * *

NO DOUBT

"Lend me ten, Tom."

"I think not."

"You won't?"

"I won't."

"You've no doubt of my character, have you?"

"I haven't."

"Well, why won't you, then?"

"Because I have no doubt of your character."

* * *

_Officer_ (_drilling recruits_): Hey, you, in case of fire, what do you
do?

_Recruit:_ I yell.

_Officer:_ Yell what?

_Recruit:_ Why, what do you suppose? Cease firing.

* * *

_Doctor_ (_at door, to butler_): Tell your master the doctor is here.

_Butler:_ The master is in great pain, sir. He is receiving nobody.

* * *

_Young Woman_ (_holding out hand_): Will you please tell me how to
pronounce the name of the stone in this ring? Is it turkoise or
turkwoise?

_Jeweler_ (_after inspecting it_): The correct pronunciation is "glass."

* * *

Once, in a rush season, an office boy was kept working overtime for
several nights. He didn't like it, and growled to his boss: "You've kept
me workin' every night till 9 o'clock for three nights runnin' now, and
I'm worn out, Mr. Brown. I ain't no machine. I can't go forever." His
boss gave a hard laugh. "Wrong!" he said. "Wrong, my boy. You go forever
next pay day."

* * *

The bellboy of the Welcome Hotel has invented an ingenious system of
calling sleepy guests. The other night a man left instructions that he
wished to b