et you?"

* * *

A MAGIC HEALER

During an exciting game of football a player had two fingers of his
right hand badly smashed, and on his way home from the ground he dropped
into the doctor's to have them attended to.

"Doctor," he asked, anxiously. "When this hand of mine heals, will I be
able to play the piano?"

"Certainly you will," the doctor assured him.

"Then you're a wonder, doctor. I never could before."

* * *

SHE TOOK THEM

"I don't know whether I like these photos or not," said the young woman.
"They seem rather indistinct."

"But, you must remember, madam," said the wily photographer, "that your
face is not at all plain."

* * *

BUT HE'S ON HIS WAY

Uncle Tom arrived at the station with the goat he was to ship north, but
the freight agent was having difficulty in billing him.

"What's this goat's destination, Uncle?" he asked.

"Suh?"

"I say, what's his destination? Where's he going?"

Uncle Tom searched carefully for the tag. A bit of frayed cord was all
that remained.

"Dat ornery goat!" he exploded wrathfully. "Yo' know, suh, dat iggorant
goat done completely et up his destination."

* * *

HER MATCH

_Tommy:_ "What's an echo, pa?"

_Pa:_ "An echo, my son, is the only thing that can deprive a woman of
the last word."

* * *

"Why is it you never get to the office on time in the morning?" demanded
the boss angrily.

"It's like this, boss," explained the tardy one; "you kept telling me
not to watch the clock during office hours, and I got so I didn't watch
it at home either."

* * *

SCIENTIFIC PROOF

One day a teacher was having a first-grade class in physiology. She
asked them if they knew that there was a burning fire in the body all of
the time. One little girl spoke up and said:

"Yes'm; when it is a cold day, I can see the smoke."

* * *

_Bolshie Tubthumper:_ Yaas, there didn't ought to be no poor. We all
ought to be wealthy, and the wealthy starvin' like us!

* * *

_Sunday School Teacher:_ Now, Alfred, if you are always kind and polite
to your playmates, what will be the result?

_Alfred:_ They'll think they can lick me!