* * *

GOING FURTHER

_Flora:_ "I think that Maud has been awfully mean to you. If I were you
I'd get even with her."

_Dora:_ "Getting even with her won't satisfy _me_. _I'm_ going to get
_uneven_ with her."

* * *

GETTING ON

_Old Gentleman:_ "Well, children! and what are you learning at school?"

_Small Boy:_ "Oh, she's learning to make paper dolls and I'm learning to
knock spots out of Willie Jones."

* * *

LITERALLY

_He:_ "I understand that she fairly threw herself at him."

_She:_ "Yes! They met in an automobile collision."

* * *

AN EXTENSIVE LOVE

_She:_ "They say that he fairly worships the ground she walks on."

_He:_ "That's saying a good deal when you consider what a golf fiend she
is."

* * *

CAUSE AND EFFECT

"The way those people flaunt their money fairly makes me ill."

"Sour grapes always _did_ have that effect."

* * *

NO DISSENSION

_Mrs. Storme:_ "How is your Debating Society getting along?"

_Mrs. Karn:_ "Very well. We have forty members, and we all agree
beautifully."

* * *

"Why are they not speaking?"

"They quarreled about which loved the other the more."

"Well!"

"And now each is afraid to give in for fear of offending the other."

* * *

IN KEEPING

"I really believe he married her only because he wanted a good
housekeeper."

"And now I suppose he wishes he could give her a month's warning."

* * *

HE KNEW

_She:_ "I never saw a married couple who got on so well together as Mr.
and Mrs. Rigby."

_He:_ "Humph! I know! Each of them does exactly as _she_ likes."

* * *

ARRANGED TO FIT

_Elsie:_ "Mummy! if I wuz a fairy I'd change every-fing into cake, an'
eat it all up."

_Mother:_ "I'm afraid such a lot of cake would make you sick."

_Elsie:_ "Oh! but I'd change myself into a Nelephant first."

* * *

PROBABLY

"I want to buy you something useful for your birthday. What can you
suggest?"

"Oh! I think a really useful diamond ring would do as well as anything."

* *