de Corps"?

_Stenographer:_ No, I haven't, and if it's anything vulgar I don't want
to.

* * *

_Sympathetic Lady:_ What's the matter with your hand, my little man?

_Boy:_ Sawed the top of my finger off.

_Sympathetic Lady:_ Dear, dear, how did you do that?

_Boy:_ Sawing.

* * *

REMEMBERED

Blinks, after inviting his friend, Jinks, who has just returned from
abroad, to dinner, is telling him what a fine memory his little son
Bobby has.

"And do you suppose he will remember me?" said Jinks.

"Remember you? Why, he remembers every face that he ever saw."

An hour later they entered the house, and after Jinks had shaken hands
with Mrs. Blinks, he calls Bobby over to him.

"And do you remember me, my little man?"

"Course I do. You're the same man that pa brought home last summer, and
ma was so wild about it that she didn't speak to pa for a whole week."

* * *

NATURAL DEDUCTION

"The man that argues with a woman is a fool," said Mr. Gadspur.

"I agree with you," said Mr. Twobble.

"And if he expects to have the last word he's an even bigger fool."

"Quite so, quite so. What did you and the 'Missus' quarrel about this
morning?"

* * *

TOO GOOD

"Well, Alice," said a Southern woman to a coloured girl formerly in her
employ, "I hear that you have married."

"Yassum, Ah done got me a husband now."

"Is he a good provider, Alice?"

"Yassum. He's powerful good provider, but Ah's powerful skeered he's
gwine git catched at it."

* * *

AN ERROR IN JUDGMENT

_Mother:_ "What! Have you been fighting again, Johnnie? Good little boys
don't fight."

_Johnnie:_ "Yes, I know that. I thought he was a good little boy, but
after I hit him once, I found he wasn't."

* * *

TEACHING THE YOUNG IDEA

Little Willie looked up from the paper he had been reading, and inquired
of his father:

* * *

"Dad, who was Mozart?"

"Good gracious, boy! You don't know that!" indignantly returned his
parent. "Go and read your Shakespeare."

* * *

HE TAKES YOUR TIME

"The chief objection we have to the man who 'knows it all,'" remarked
the Observer of Events and Things, "is that he insist