n dress reform was greatly shocked when she read
the report as published in the local paper. The writer had been innocent
enough, for his concluding sentence was:

"The lady lecturer on dress wore nothing that was remarkable."

But the merry compositor inserted a period, which was left undisturbed
by the proofreader, so that the published statement ran:

"The lady lecturer on dress wore nothing. That was remarkable."

* * *

The poet, in a fine frenzy, dashed off a line that was really superb:

"See the pale martyr in his sheet of fire."

The devilish compositor so tangled the words that, when the poem was
published, this line read:

"See the pale martyr with his shirt on fire."

* * *

The critic, in his review of the burlesque, wrote:

"The ladies of Prince Charming's household troops filled their parts to
perfection."

The compositor, in his haste, read an _n_ for the _r_ in the word
_parts_, and the sentence, thus changed, radically in its significance,
duly appeared in the morning paper.

VALUES

An American girl who married a Bavarian baron enjoyed playing Lady
Bountiful among the tenants on her husband's estate. On the death of the
wife of one of the cottagers, she called to condole with the bereaved
widower. She uttered her formal expressions of sympathy with him in his
grief over the loss of his wife, and she was then much disconcerted by
his terse optimistic comment:

"But it's a good thing, your ladyship, that it wasn't the cow."

Wives are to be had for the asking; cows are not.

VANITY

The fair penitent explained to the confessor how greatly she was grieved
by an accusing conscience. She bewailed the fact that she was sadly
given over to personal vanity. She added that on this very morning she
had gazed into her mirror and had yielded to the temptation of thinking
herself beautiful.

"Is that all, my daughter?" the priest demanded.

"Then, my daughter," the confessor bade her, "go in peace, for to be
mistaken is not to sin."

VICTORY

That celebrated statue, the Winged Victory, has suffered during the
centuries to the extent of losing its head and other less vital parts.
When the Irish tourist was confronted by this battered figure in the
museum, and his guide had explained that this was the famous statue of
victory, he surveyed the marble form with keen interest.

"Victory, is ut?" he said,