urely would not rob a poor bishop!" he exclaimed. "I have no money
worth your attention, and I am engaged on my duties as a bishop."

The robber hesitated.

"A bishop, eh?" he said thoughtfully. "Of what church?"

"The Episcopal."

"The hell you are! That's the church I belong to! So long!... Driver,
larrup them mules!"

* * *

A Scotch Presbyterian clergyman tells the story of a parishioner who
formed a secession with a few others unable to accept the doctrines of
the church. But when the clergyman asked this man if he and the others
worshiped together, the answer was:

"No. The fact is, I found that they accepted certain points to which I
could not agree, so I withdrew from communion with them."

"So, then," the clergyman continued, "I suppose you and your wife carry
on your devotions together at home."

"No, not exactly," the man admitted. "I found that our views on certain
doctrines are not in harmony. So, there has been a division between us.
Now, she worships in the northeast corner of the room and I in the
southwest."

SELF-BETRAYAL

The old lady was very aristocratic, but somewhat prim and precise.
Nevertheless, when the company had been telling of college pranks, she
relaxed slightly, and told of a lark that had caused excitement in
Cambridge when she was a girl there. This was to the effect that two
maidens of social standing were smuggled into the second-story room of a
Harvard student for a gay supper. The affair was wholly innocent, but
secrecy was imperative, to avoid scandal. The meal was hardly begun when
a thunderous knock of authority came on the door. The young men acted
swiftly in the emergency. Silently, one of the girls was lowered to the
ground from the window by a rope knotted under her arms. The second girl
was then lowered, but the rope broke when the descent was hardly half
completed.

The old lady had related the incident with increasing animation, and at
this critical point in the narrative she burst forth:

"And I declare, when that rope broke, I just knew I was going to be
killed, sure!"

SERMON

The aged colored clergyman, who made up in enthusiasm what he lacked in
education, preached a sermon on the verse of the Psalm, "Awake, Psaltery
and Harp! I myself will awake right early." The explanation of the
words, which preceded the exhortation, was as follows:

"Awake, Peasel Tree an' Ha'ap, I myself will awake airly. Dis yere