the following extract
from a Scotch editorial concerning the new divorce legislation:

"But the Bill creates new grounds for the dissolution of the marriage
bond, which are unknown to the law of Scotland. Cruelty, incurable
sanity, or habitual drunkenness are proposed as separate grounds of
divorce."

SARCASM

The noted story-teller at a dinner party related an anecdote, and was at
first gratified by the hearty laughter of an old lady among the guests,
and later a little suspicious, as her mirth continued. As he stared at
her, puzzled, she spoke in explanation:

"Oh, that story is such a favorite of mine: the first time I heard it I
laughed so hard that I kicked the foot-board off my crib."

* * *

The ponderous judge interrupted the eloquent lawyer harshly:

"All you say goes in at one ear and out at the other."

"What is to prevent it?" was the retort.

SAVING

A servant, who indulged in sprees during which he spent all his money,
was advised by his master to save against a rainy day. A week later,
the master inquired if any saving had been accomplished.

"Oh, yes, indeed, sir," the servant responded. "But, you see, sir, it
rained yesterday, and it all went."

SCHEDULE

Cooks' tourists travel exactly according to schedule. The following
conversation was overheard in Rome between a mother and daughter:

"Is this Rome, ma?"

"What day of the week is it, Matilda?"

"Tuesday. What of it?"

"If it's Tuesday, it must be Rome."

* * *

The man about to take a train was worried by the station clocks. There
was twenty minutes difference between the one in the office and the one
in the waiting-room. Finally, he questioned a porter. That worthy made a
careful survey of the two clocks, and shook his head doubtfully. Then,
he brightened suddenly, and said:

"It don't make a single mite of difference about the clocks. The train
goes at four-ten, no matter what."

SEASICKNESS

On the first morning of the voyage, the vessel ran into a nasty choppy
sea, which steadily grew worse. There were twenty-five passengers at the
captain's table for dinner, and he addressed them in an amiable
welcoming speech:

"I hope that all twenty-five of you will have a pleasant trip." The soup
appeared, and he continued: "I sincerely hope that this little assembly
of twenty-four will thoroughly enjoy the voyage. I look upon these
twenty