* * *

A NATURAL PICTURE

A man and his eldest son went to have their photographs taken together,
and the photographer said to the young man, "It will make a better
picture if you put your hand on your father's shoulder."

"H'm," said the father, "it would make a more natural picture if he put
it in my pocket."

* * *

NOTHING TO SMILE AT

A Londoner was telling funny stories to a party of commercial men.

An old Scotsman, sitting in a corner seat, apparently took not the
smallest notice, and no matter how loud the laughter, went on quietly
reading his paper. This exasperated the story-teller, until at last he
said: "I think it would take an inch auger to put a joke into a
Scotsman's head."

A voice from behind the paper replied: "Ay, man, but it wid need tae hae
a finer point than ony o' yer stories, a'm thinking!"

* * *

DREW BLANK

The MacTavish was not a mean man. No; he just knew the value of money.

So, when the MacTavish developed a sore throat he meditated fearfully
upon the expenditure of a doctor's fee. As an alternative he hung about
for a day and a half outside the local doctor's establishment. Finally
he managed to catch the great man.

"Say, doctor! Hoo's beez-ness wi' ye the noo?"

"Oh, feyr, feyr!"

"A s'pose ye've a deal o' prescribin' tae dae fer coolds an' sair
throats?"

"Ay!"

"An' what dae ye gin'rally gie fer a sair throat?"

"Naethin'," replied the canny old doctor, "I dinna' want a sair throat."

* * *

A FRIEND IN NEED

What true friendship consists in depends on the temperament of the man
who has a friend. It is related that at the funeral of Mr. Scroggs, who
died extremely poor, the usually cold-blooded Squire Tightfist was much
affected.

"You thought a great deal of him, I suppose?" some one asked him.

"Thought a great deal of him? I should think I did. There was a true
friend. He never asked me to lend him a cent, though I knew well enough
he was starving to death."

* * *

WHAT HE PREFERRED

He was one of the few remaining old-time darkies. He had finished the
odd jobs for which he had been employed, and, hat in hand, appeared at
the back door.

"How much is it, uncle?" he was asked.

"Yo' say how much? Jest whatever yo' say, missus."

"Oh, but I would rather