e changed!"

"Yes?"

"Imagine Rosa Bonheur painting a flock of Ford tractors."

* * *

_Sailor Bill:_ "These New York gals seem to be wearin' sort o' light
canvas."

_Sailor Dan:_ "Yes--you seldom see a full-rigged skirt, or anything."

* * *

_Tramp:_ "Would you please 'elp a pore man whose wife is out o' work?"

* * *

"I 'ear your 'usband 'as turned Bolshie."

"Well, not absolootly; but 'e 'as a lenin' that way."

* * *

A popular Oklahoma City salesman recently married, and was accompanied
by his wife as he entered the dining-room of a Texas hotel famed for its
excellent cuisine. His order was served promptly, but the fried chicken
he had been telling his wife so much about was not in evidence.

"Where is my chicken?" he asked somewhat irritably.

The dusky waiter, leaning over and bringing his mouth in close proximity
to the salesman's ear, replied:

"Ef youse mean de li'l gal with blue eyes an' fluffy hair, she doan'
wo'k heah no mo'."

* * *

"Do you really believe in heredity?"

"Most certainly I do. That is how I came into all my money."

* * *

An attorney of Los Angeles advertised for a chauffeur. Some twenty-odd
responded and were being questioned as to qualifications, efficiency,
and whether married or single. Finally, turning to a negro chap, he
said:

"How about you, George, are you married?"

Quickly the negro responded: "Naw-sir, boss, naw-sir. Ah makes mah own
livin'."

* * *

A boy and his mother were taking in the circus. Looking at the
hippopotamus, he said: "Ma, ain't that the ugliest damn thing you ever
saw?"

"Bill," said his ma, "didn't I tell you never to say 'ain't.'"

* * *

"Vell, Ikey, my poy," said Sol to his son, "I've made my vill and left
it all to you."

"That's very good of you, father," remarked Ike, eyeing him
suspiciously. "But, bless you, it cost a lot of money for the lawyer and
fees and things!"

"Vell?" said Ike more suspiciously. "Vell, it ain't fair I should pay
all dot, is it? So I'll shust take it off from your next month's
salary."

* * *

_Mr. McNab_ (_after having his lease re