ng to say you 'love'
cake, and I've frequently pointed out that 'just' is wrongly used in
such a sentence. Again, 'awfully' is quite wrong, 'very' would be more
correct, dear. Now repeat your remark, please."

Muriel obediently repeated: "I like chocolate cake; it is very good."

"That's better, dear," said the governess, approvingly.

"But it sounds as if I was talking about bread," protested the little
girl.

* * *

WHY HE PICKED PICTISH

An English mother was visiting her son at college.

"Well, dear," she said, "what languages did you decide to take?"

"I have decided to take Pictish, mother," he replied.

"Pictish?" said the puzzled lady. "Why Pictish?"

"Only five words of it remain," he said.

* * *

PLAYED THEM BOTH UP

A small boy was playing with an iron hoop in the street, when suddenly
it bounced through the railings and broke the kitchen window of one of
the areas. The lady of the house waited with anger in her eyes for the
appearance of the hoop's owner. He arrived.

"Please, I've broken your window," he said, "and father's come to mend
it."

Sure enough the boy was followed by a man, who at once set to work,
while the boy, taking his hoop, ran off. The window finished, the man
said:

"That'll be three shillings, mum."

"Three shillings!" gasped the woman. "But your son broke it. The little
fellow with the hoop. You're his father, aren't you?"

The man shook his head.

"Never seen him before," he said. "He came round to my place and said
his mother wanted her window mended. You're his mother, aren't you?"

And the good woman could only shake her head; for once words failed her.

* * *

JUSTICE AT LAST

It was the usual domestic storm.

"Oh, dear! oh, dear!" moaned wifey in tears. "I wish I'd taken poor
mother's advice, and never married you!"

Hubby, the strong, silent man, swung round on her quickly, and at last
found voice.

"Did your mother try to stop you marrying me?" he demanded.

Wifey nodded violently.

A look of deep remorse crossed hubby's face.

"Great Scott," he cried, in broken tones, "how I wronged that woman!"

* * *

IN ORDER TO BE FILLED

Two negroes were working in a coal-bin in a Mississippi town, one down
in the bin throwing out the coal and the other wielding a shovel. The
one inside pi