rain out, and it was at this moment
that the gentleman arrived on the scene with profuse expressions of
admiration for the prompt rescue.

"It was noble of you," the gentleman declared rather rhetorically, "to
plunge into the water in that way at the risk of your life to save the
boy. I congratulate you on your brave display of heroic magnanimity."

The old colored man answered with an amiable grin:

"All right, boss. Ah doan know nuffin' 'bout magn'imity. But Ah jess had
to git dat boy out de water. He had de bait in his pocket."

BALDNESS

A patient complained to the doctor that his hair was coming out.

"Won't you give me something to keep it in?" he begged.

"Take this," the doctor said kindly, and he handed the patient a pill
box.

BAPTISM

On the way to the baptism, the baby somehow loosened the stopper of his
bottle, with the result that the milk made a frightful mess over the
christening robe. The mother was greatly shamed, but she was compelled
to hand over the child in its mussed garments to the clergyman at the
font.

"What name?" the clergyman whispered.

The agitated mother failed to understand, and thought that he complained
of the baby's condition. So she offered explanation in the words:

"Nozzle come off--nozzle come off!"

The clergyman, puzzled, repeated his whisper:

"What name?"

"Nozzle come off--nozzle come off!" The woman insisted, almost in tears.

The clergyman gave it up, and continued the rite:

"Nozzlecomeoff Smithers, I baptize thee in the name of the Father and of
the Son and of the Holy Ghost."

* * *

The aged negro clergyman announced solemnly from the pulpit:

"Next Sabbath, dar will be a baptism in dis chu'ch, at half-pas' ten in
de mawnin'. Dis baptism will be of two adults an' six adulteresses."

BAPTISTS

The old colored man left the Methodist Church and joined the Baptist.
Soon afterward, he encountered his former pastor, who inquired the
reason for his change of sect. The old man explained fully.

"Fust off, I was 'Piscopal, but I hain't learned, an' they done say the
service so fast, I nebber could keep up, an' when I come out behin', dey
all look, an' I'se 'shamed. So I jined the Methodis'. Very fine church,
yes, suh. But dey done has 'Quiry meetin's. An', suh, us cullud folkses
can't bear too much 'quirin' into. An' a man says to me, 'Why don't you
jine de Baptis'? De Baptis', it's jest _dip_ an' be don