it took a sip of the
strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some
thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued
and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor
did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on
its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:

"Now, bring on your cat!"

* * *

The owner of a hunting lodge in Scotland presented his gamekeeper with a
fur cap, of the sort having ear flaps. When at the lodge the following
year, the gentleman asked the gamekeeper how he liked the cap. The old
man shook his head dolefully.

"I've nae worn it since the accident."

"What accident was that?" his employer demanded. "I've heard of none."

"A mon offered me a dram, and I heard naething of it."

* * *

The old farmer was driving home from town, after having imbibed rather
freely. In descending a hill, the horse stumbled and fell, and either
could not, or would not, get to its feet again. At last, the farmer
spoke savagely:

"Dang yer hide, git up thar--or I'll drive smack over ye!"

* * *

Mrs. Smith addressed her neighbor, whose husband was notoriously brutal,
and she spoke with a purr that was catty:

"You know, my dear, my husband is so indulgent!"

And the other woman retorted, quite as purringly:

"Oh, everybody knows that. What a pity he sometimes indulges too much!"

* * *

In the days before prohibition, a bibulous person issued from a saloon
in a state of melancholy intoxication, and outside the door he
encountered a teetotaler friend.

The friend exclaimed mournfully:

"Oh, John, I am so sorry to see you come out of such a place as that!"

The bibulous one wept sympathetically.

"Then," he declared huskily, "I'll go right back!" And he did.

* * *

When the Kentucky colonel was in the North, some one asked him if the
Kentuckians were in fact very bibulous.

"No, suh," the colonel declared. "I don't reckon they're mo' than a
dozen Bibles in the whole state."

* * *

The Irish gentleman encountered the lady who had been ill, and made
gallant inquiries.

"I almost died," she ex