. He inquired of an
Irishman working in a field to learn if the fellow had seen any strange
animal thereabouts.

"Begorra, Oi hev thot!" was the vigorous answer. "There was an
inju-rubber bull around here, pullin' carrots with its tail."

ELOPEMENT

Some months after the elopement, an old friend met the bridegroom, and
asked eagerly for details.

"What about her father? Did he catch you?"

"Just that!" quoth the bridegroom grimly. "Incidentally, I may add that
the old boy is living with us still."

ENOUGH

The darky's clothes were in the last stages of dilapidation, and he wore
open work shoes, but his face was radiant, and he whistled merrily as he
slouched along the street. A householder called from his porch:

"Sam, I have a job for you, if you want to earn a quarter."

The tattered colored man grinned happily as he shook his head.

"No, suh, thank yoh all de same, boss--I done got a quarter."

EPITAPH

In an Irish cemetery stands a handsome monument with an inscription
which runs thus:

"This monument is erected to the memory of James O'Flinn, who was
accidentally shot by his brother as a mark of affection."

EVIDENCE

The prisoner, a darky, explained how it came about that he had been
arrested for chicken-stealing:

"I didn't hab no trouble wiv de constable ner nobody. It would ab been
all right if it hadn't been fer the women's love o' dress. My women
folks, dey wasn't satisfied jes' to eat mos' all o' them chickens. Dey
had to put de feathers in der hats, an' parade 'em as circumstantial
evidence."

* * *

The smug satisfaction of the rustic in his clear perception and shrewd
reasoning is illustrated by the dialogue between two farmers meeting on
the road.

"Did you hear that old man Jones's house burned down last night?"

"I ain't a mite surprised. I was goin' past there in the evenin', an'
when I saw the smoke a-comin' out all round under the eaves, I sez to
myself, sez I, 'Where there's smoke there must be fire.' An' so it was!"

* * *

"Shall I leave the hall light burning, ma'am?" the servant asked.

"No," her mistress replied. "I think my husband won't get home until
daylight. He kissed me goodbye before he went, and gave me twenty
dollars for a new hat."

EXCLUSIVENESS

One of the New York churches is notorious for its exclusiveness. A
colored man took a fancy to the church, and promp