closed
his eyes tight, bent his head reverently, and spoke his prayer:

"O Lord, have mercy on these victuals. Amen!"

* * *

The new clergyman in the country parish, during his visit to an old lady
of his flock, inquired if she accepted the doctrine of Falling from
Grace. The good woman nodded vigorously.

"Yes, sir," she declared with pious zeal, "I believe in it, and, praise
the Lord! I practise it!"

GRAMMAR

The passing lady mistakenly supposed that the woman shouting from a
window down the street was calling to the little girl minding baby
brother close by on the curb.

"Your mother is calling you," she said kindly.

The little girl corrected the lady:

"Her ain't a-callin' we. Us don't belong to she."

* * *

The teacher asked the little girl if she was going to the Maypole dance.
"No, I ain't going," was the reply.

The teacher corrected the child:

"You must not say, 'I ain't going,' you must say, 'I am not going.'"
And she added to impress the point: "I am not going. He is not going. We
are not going. You are not going. They are not going. Now, dear, can you
say all that?"

The little girl nodded and smiled brightly.

"Sure!" she replied. "They ain't nobody going."

* * *

The witness, in answer to the lawyer's question, said:

"Them hain't the boots what was stole."

The judge rebuked the witness sternly:

"Speak grammatic, young man--speak grammatic! You shouldn't ought to
say, 'them boots what was stole,' you should ought to say, 'them boots
as was stealed.'"

GRASS

The auctioneer, offering the pasture lot for sale, waved his hand
enthusiastically, pointed toward the rich expanse of herbage, and
shouted:

"Now, then, how much am I offered for this field? Jest look at that
grass, gentlemen. That's exactly the sort of grass Nebuchadnezzar would
have given two hundred dollars an acre for."

GREED

An eminent doctor successfully attended a sick child. A few days later,
the grateful mother called on the physician. After expressing her
realization of the fact that his services had been of a sort that could
not be fully paid for, she continued:

"But I hope you will accept as a token from me this purse which I myself
have embroidered."

The physician replied very coldly to the effect that the fees of the
physician must be paid in money, not merely in