licit:

"He is a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless fool!"

"Tut, tut!" the judge remonstrated. "I suspect you would find difficulty
in proving all your assertions."

"Prove it!" was the retort. "Why, everybody knows it."

"If you knew it," his honor demanded sarcastically, "why did you marry
him?"

"I didn't know it before I married him."

The husband interrupted angrily:

"Yes, she did, too," he shouted. "She did so!"

DOCTORS

A victim of chronic bronchitis called on a well-known physician to be
examined. The doctor, after careful questioning, assured the patient
that the ailment would respond readily to treatment.

"You're so sure," the sufferer inquired, "I suppose you must have had a
great deal of experience with this disease."

The physician smiled wisely, and answered in a most confidential manner:

"Why, my dear sir, I've had bronchitis myself for more than fifteen
years."

* * *

A well-to-do colored man suffered a serious illness, and showed no signs
of improvement under treatment by a physician of his own race. So,
presently, he dismissed this doctor and summoned a white man. The new
physician made a careful examination of the patient, and then asked:

"Did that other doctor take your temperature?"

The sick man shook his head doubtfully.

"I dunno, suh," he declared, "I sartinly dunno. All I've missed so far
is my watch."

* * *

A member of the faculty in a London medical college was appointed an
honorary physician to the king. He proudly wrote a notice, on the
blackboard in his class-room:

"Professor Jennings informs his students that he has been appointed
honorary physician to His Majesty, King George."

When he returned to the class-room in the afternoon he found written
below his notice this line:

"God save the King."

* * *

The Chinaman expressed his gratitude to that mighty physician Sing Lee,
as follows:

"Me velly sick man. Me get Doctor Yuan Sin. Takee him medicine. Velly
more sick. Me get Doctor Hang Shi. Takee him medicine. Velly bad--think
me go die. Me callee Doctor Kai Kon. Him busy--no can come. Me get
well."

* * *

The instructor in the Medical College exhibited a diagram.

"The subject here limps," he explained, "because one leg is shorter than
the other." He addressed one of the stude