d stubborn, firmly rooted in his evil courses, so that he resisted the
pious efforts in his behalf.

"Jim," the exhorter questioned sadly at last, "ain't you teched by the
story of the Lord what died to save yer soul?"

"Humph!" Jim retorted contemptuously. "Air ye aimin' to tell me the Lord
died to save me, when He ain't never seed me, ner knowed me?"

"Jim," the missionary explained with fervor, "it was a darn sight easier
for the Lord to die fer ye jest because He never seed ye than if He
knowed ye as well as we-alls do!"

COOKERY

The housewife gave the tramp a large piece of pie on condition that he
should saw some wood. The tramp retired to the woodshed, but presently
he reappeared at the back door of the house with the piece of pie still
intact save for one mouthful bitten from the end.

"Madam," he said respectfully to the wondering woman, "if it's all the
same to you, I'll eat the wood, and saw the pie."

COURTESY

The witness was obviously a rustic and quite new to the ways of a
court-room. So, the judge directed him:

"Speak to the jury, sir--the men sitting behind you on the benches."

The witness turned, bowed clumsily and said:

"Good-morning, gentlemen."

COWARDICE

The old farmer and his wife visited the menagerie. When they halted
before the hippopotamus cage, he remarked admiringly:

"Darn'd curi's fish, ain't it, ma?"

"That ain't a fish," the wife announced. "That's a rep-tile."

It was thus that the argument began. It progressed to a point of such
violence that the old lady began belaboring the husband with her
umbrella. The old man dodged and ran, with the wife in pursuit. The
trainer had just opened the door of the lions' cage, and the farmer
popped in. He crowded in behind the largest lion and peered over its
shoulder fearfully at his wife, who, on the other side of the bars,
shook her umbrella furiously.

"Coward!" she shouted. "Coward!"

CURIOSITY

The colored man, passing through the market, saw a turtle for the first
time, and surveyed it with great interest. The creature's head was
withdrawn, but as the investigator fumbled about the shell, it shot
forward and nipped his finger. With a howl of pain he stuck his finger
in his mouth, and sucked it.

"What's the matter?" the fishmonger asked with a grin.

"Nothin'--jest nothin' a tall," the colored man answered thickly. "Ah
was only wonderin' whether Ah had been bit or stung."

DAMAGES

The child came to