wearing."

* * *

"The naked hills lie wanton to the breeze,
"The fields are nude, the groves unfrocked,
"Bare are the shivering limbs of shameless trees,
"What wonder is it that the corn is shocked?"

But not the modern woman!

FAVORS

At the village store, the young farmer complained bitterly.

"Old Si Durfee wants me to be one of the pall-bearers once more at his
wife's funeral. An' it's like this. Si had me fer pall-bearer when his
first wife was buried. An' then agin fer his second. An' when Eliza
died, she as was his third, he up an' axed me agin. An' now, I snum,
it's the fourth time. An' ye know, a feller can't be the hull time
a-takin' favors, an' not payin' 'em back."

FIGHTING

The boy hurried home to his father with an announcement:

"Me and Joe Peck had a fight to-day."

The father nodded gravely.

"Mr. Peck has already called to see me about it."

The little boy's face brightened.

"Gee, pop! I hope you made out 's well 's I did!"

FINANCE

A very black little girl made her way into the presence of the lady of
the house, and with much embarrassment, but very clearly, explained who
she was, and what her mission:

"Please, mum, I'se Ophelia. I'se de washerwoman's little girl, an' mama,
she sent me to say, would you please to len' her a dime. She got to pay
some bills."

* * *

The successful financier snorted contemptuously.

"Money! pooh! there are a million ways of making money."

"But only one honest way," a listener declared.

"What way is that?" the financier demanded.

"Naturally, you wouldn't know," was the answer.

* * *

The eminent financier was discoursing.

"The true secret of success," he said, "is to find out what the people
want."

"And the next thing," someone suggested, "is to give it to them."

The financier shook his head contemptuously.

"No--to corner it."

* * *

The eminent banker explained just how he started in business:

"I had nothing to do, and I rented an empty store, and put up a sign,
_Bank_. As soon as I opened for business, a man dropped in, and made a
deposit of two hundred dollars. The next day another man dropped in and
deposited three hundred dollars. And so, sir, the third day, my
confidence in the enterprise reached such a point t