nts:

"Now, Mr. Snead, what would you do in such a case?"

Young Snead pondered earnestly and replied with conviction:

"I fancy, sir, that I should limp, too."

* * *

The physician turned from the telephone to his wife:

"I must hurry to Mrs. Jones' boy--he's sick."

"Is it serious?"

"Yes. I don't know what's the matter with him, but she has a book on
what to do before the doctor comes. So I must hurry. Whatever it is, she
mustn't do it."

DOCTRINE

In a former generation, when elaborate doctrines were deemed more
important by Christian clergymen than they are to-day, they were prone
to apply every utterance of the Bible to the demonstration of their own
particular tenets. For example, one distinguished minister announced his
text and introduced his sermon as follows:

"'So, Mephibosheth dwelt in Jerusalem, for he did eat at the King's
table, and he was lame on both his feet.'

"My brethren, we are here taught the doctrine of human
depravity.--Mephibosheth was lame. Also the doctrine of total
depravity--he was lame on both his feet. Also the doctrine of
justification--for he dwelt in Jerusalem. Fourth, the doctrine of
adoption--'he did eat at the King's table.' Fifth, the doctrine of the
perseverance of the saints--for we read that 'he did eat at the King's
table continually.'"

DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE

During the worst of the spy-scare period in London a man was brought
into the police station, who declared indignantly that he was a
well-known American citizen. But his captor denounced him as a German,
and offered as proof the hotel register, which he had brought along. He
pointed to the signature of the accused. It read:

"V. Gates."

DOGS

The tramp was sitting with his back to a hedge by the wayside, munching
at some scraps wrapped in a newspaper. A lady, out walking with her pet
Pomeranian, strolled past. The little dog ran to the tramp, and tried to
muzzle the food. The tramp smiled expansively on the lady.

"Shall I throw the leetle dog a bit, mum?" he asked.

The lady was gratified by this appearance of kindly interest in her pet,
and murmured an assent. The tramp caught the dog by the nape of the neck
and tossed it over the hedge, remarking:

"And if he comes back, mum, I might throw him a bit more."

* * *

Many a great man has been given credit as originator of this cynical
sentiment:

"The mo