ttered client
as he listened, and decided that he would be lucky to obtain a
ten-dollar fee. He named that amount as necessary to secure the
prisoner's release. Thereupon, the old colored man drew forth a large
roll of bills, and peeled off a ten. The lawyer's greedy eyes popped.

"What jail is your son in?" he inquired craftily.

"In the county jail."

"In the county jail!" was the exclamation in a tone of dismay. "That's
bad--very bad. It will cost you at least fifty dollars."

* * *

Some physicians direct their patients to lie always on the right side,
declaring that it is injurious to the health to lie on both sides. Yet,
lawyers as a class enjoy good health.

LEGERDEMAIN

"What did you do last night?"

"I went to a slight-of-hand performance. Called on Laura Sears, and
offered her my hand, and she slighted it."

LENT

"Did you give up anything during Lent?" one man asked another.

"Yes," was the reply, uttered with a heavy sigh. "I gave up fifty
dollars for a new Easter bonnet."

LIARS

The World War has incited veterans of the Civil War to new reminiscences
of old happenings. One of these is based on the fact that furloughs were
especially difficult to obtain when the Union army was in front of
Petersburg, Virginia. But a certain Irishman was resolved to get a
furlough in spite of the ban. He went to the colonel's tent, and was
permitted to enter. He saluted, and delivered himself thus:

"Colonel, I've come to ax you to allow me the pleasure of a furlough for
a visit home. I've been in the field now three years, an' never home yet
to see me family. An' I jest had a letter from me wife wantin' av me to
come home to see her an' the children."

The colonel shook his head decisively.

"No, Mike," he replied. "I'm sorry, but to tell the truth, I don't think
you ought to go home. I've jest had a letter from your wife myself. She
doesn't want you to come home. She writes me that you'd only get drunk,
and disgrace her and the children. So you'd better stay right here until
your term of service expires."

"All right, sir," Mike answered, quite cheerfully. He saluted and went
to the door of the tent. Then he faced about.

"Colonel dear," he inquired in a wheedling voice, "would ye be after
pardonin' me for a brief remark jist at this toime?"

"Yes, certainly," the officer assented.

"Ye won't git mad an' put me in the guard house for freein' me mind, s