d a restraining hand.

"Wait!" he commanded loudly. "Women and children first!"

DREAMS

The group of dwellers at the seaside was discussing the subject of
dreams and their significance. During a pause, one of the party turned
to a little girl who had sat listening intently, and asked:

"Do you believe that dreams come true?"

"Of course, they do," the child replied firmly. "Last night I dreamed
that I went paddling--and I had!"

DRESS

"Oh, have you heard? Mrs. Blaunt died to-day while trying on a new
dress."

"How sad! What was it trimmed with?"

* * *

The son of the house had been reading of an escaped lunatic.

"How do they catch lunatics?" he asked.

The father, who had just paid a number of bills, waxed sarcastic:

"With enormous straw hats, with little bits of ones, with silks and
laces and feathers and jewelry, and so on and so on."

"I recall now," the mother spoke up, "I used to wear things of that sort
until I married you."

DRINK

It was nine o'clock in the morning, but this particular passenger on the
platform of the trolley car still wore a much crumpled evening suit.

As the car swung swiftly around a curve this riotous liver was jolted
off, and fell heavily on the cobble stones. The car stopped, and the
conductor, running back, helped the unfortunate man to scramble to his
feet. The bibulous passenger was severely shaken, but very dignified.

"Collision?" he demanded.

"No," the conductor answered.

"Off the track?" was the second inquiry.

"No," said the conductor again.

"Well!" was the indignant rejoinder. "If I'd known that, I wouldn't have
got off."

* * *

The very convivial gentleman left his club happy, but somewhat dazed. On
his homeward journey, made tackingly, he ran against the vertical iron
rods that formed a circle of protection for the trunk of a tree growing
by the curb. He made a tour around the barrier four times, carefully
holding to one rod until he had a firm grasp on the next. Then, at last,
he halted and leaned despairingly against the rock to which he held, and
called aloud for succor:

"Hellup! hellup! Somebody let me out!"

* * *

The highly inebriated individual halted before a solitary tree, and
regarded it as intently as he could, with the result that he saw two
trees. His attempt to pass between these resulted in a