was no answer vouchsafed to her plea. She knocked a little more
firmly, and raised her voice somewhat to call again:

"Honey, honey--it's Susie! Let me in!"

Thereupon a very cold masculine voice sounded through the door:

"Madam, this is not a beehive; it's a bathroom!"

HONORABLE INTENTIONS

A certain man notorious for his slowness paid attention for two years to
a young lady, without coming to the point. The girl's father thought it
time for him to interfere. On the swain's next visit, the father
interviewed him:

"Clinton, you've been settin' up with Nellie, an' takin' her to picnics,
an' to church an' buggy-ridin', an' nothin's come of it. So, now,
Clinton, I ask you, as man to man, what be your intentions?"

And Clinton responded unabashed:

"Well, answerin' you as man to man, I'll say there hain't no cause for
you to ruffle your shirt. My intentions is honorable--but remote."

HOSPITAL

Little Mary, who had fallen ill, begged for a kitten. It was found that
an operation was necessary for the child's cure, and that she must go
to the hospital. The mother promised that if she would be very brave
during this time of trial she should have the very finest kitten to be
found.

As Mary was coming out from the influence of the anesthetic, the nurse
heard her muttering, and stooping, heard these words:

"It's a bum way to get a cat."

HOSPITALITY

The good wife apologized to her unexpected guests for serving the apple
pie without cheese. The little boy of the family slipped quietly away
from the table for a moment, and returned with a cube of cheese, which
he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled in recognition of the
lad's thoughtfulness, popped the cheese into his mouth, and then
remarked:

"You must have sharper eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find
it?"

The boy replied with a flush of pride:

"In the rat-trap."

HUMBUG

Two boys once thought to play a trick on Charles Darwin. They took the
body of a centipede, the wings of a butterfly, the legs of a grasshopper
and the head of a beetle, and glued these together to form a weird
monster. With the composite creature in a box, they visited Darwin.

"Please, sir, will you tell us what sort of a bug this is?" the
spokesman asked.

The naturalist gave a short glance at the exhibit and a long glance at
the boys.

"Did it hum?" he inquired solemnly.

The boys replied enthusiastically, in one voice:

"Oh, yes, sir."