ays bound to have the last word;
that's why females are always employed in that capacity.

* * * * *

"What are you going to do with your boy?"

"I don't know; I'm afraid he is a bad egg."

"In that case he might do for an actor."

* * * * *

BIGGS--That butcher is an awkward fellow.

BOGGS--Yes, I notice his hands are always in his weigh.

* * * * *

"Is the proprietor in?" asked the visitor to the planing mill. "I
want to order some doors."

"He's in," replied the smart office boy, "but I think he's out o'
doors."

* * * * *

"Did the minister say anything comforting?" asked the neighbor of
the widow recently bereaved.

"Indeed, he didn't," was the quick reply. "He said my husband was
better off."

* * * * *

"What kind of hen lays the longest?"

"What kind?"

"A dead hen."

* * * * *

CITYMAN--Do they keep a servant girl?

SUBBUBS--O! certainly not. But as soon as one leaves they engage
another.--_Philadelphia Press._

* * * * *

If a woman would change her sex, what would her religion be? She
would be a he-then, of course.

* * * * *

"What in the world shall I do with the baby, John? She's crying
for the moon."

"That's nothing. Wait till she's eighteen and she'll want the
earth."

* * * * *

"The man who was run over by the cars the other day, is now out
of danger."

"That's good."

"He died this morning."

* * * * *

"The death of her husband must have been a dreadful blow to Mrs.
Musicale."

"It was, indeed."

"I suppose she has given up her piano playing entirely."

"No; she still plays; but only on the black keys."

* * * * *

Poor Lot's wife turned to salt, alas!
Her fate was most unkind.
No doubt she only wished to see
How hung her skirt behind.

* * * * *

SMITH--There is something that will never be boycotted by the
fair sex as long as time lasts.

JONES--What's that?

SMITH--The Easter bonnet.

* * * * *

"In one way the clock makers are independent of labor troubles."

"That's very fortunate, isn't it