. It escaped me three years ago.
I am married now."

* * * * *

"These verses make no sense," said she;
"I can't tell what they mean."
"Good! they'll make dollars then," cried he,
"In any magazine."

* * * * *

THE BARBER--Did I ever shave you before?

THE VICTIM--Yes, once.

THE BARBER--I don't remember your face.

THE VICTIM--No; I suppose not. It's all healed up now.

* * * * *

They say the baby looks like me,
A circumstance I dreaded,
But the only likeness I can see
Is that we're both bald-headed.

* * * * *

"Do you think the things one eats have a direct effect on one's
disposition?"

"Well, rather. We had Indian meal pudding so often at our house
that everybody got savage."

* * * * *

"I once saw a man at a meeting of a mothers' club."

"That's nothing; I once saw a teetotaler on a fishing trip."

* * * * *

Bluff a little, bluff a little
As you go your way;
Bluffing may not always help you--
Many times it may.

Bluff a little, bluff a little;
Men may rail at you--
But you'll see by watching closely
That they're bluffing, too.

* * * * *

The butcher is a fair minded fellow. He is always willing to meet
his customers half weigh.

* * * * *

A queen was she--the beautiful maid--
Beauty or wealth she did not lack--
But the game was euchre that Cupid played,
And the Queen was won by a Jack.

* * * * *

"So you paid $1,000 for a cook stove! Don't you think that was a
good deal?"

"Yes, but they threw in a cook with it: she was warranted to stay
two years!"

* * * * *

"Where are you going, my pretty maid?"
"I'm going to cut the corn," she said.
"Can I go with you, my pretty maid?"
"You're no chiropodist," she said.

* * * * *

MEDIUM--Do you believe in spirits?

BUSYMAN (off guard)--When taken in moderation, yes.

* * * * *

"You never bought a gold brick, did you?" asked the admiring
friend.

"Not exactly," answered Mr. Cumrox. "But I once came mighty nea