a woman's third finger should place you
under that woman's thumb."

* * * * *

They cannot be complete in aught
Who are not humorously prone;
A man without a merry thought
Can hardly have a funny bone.

* * * * *

TEACHER--Johnny, can you tell me what a section boss is?

JOHNNY--The conductor of a sleeping-car.

* * * * *

PERSONAL--"'A young woman, to whom black is particularly
becoming, would like to meet a gentleman in poor health; object,
widowhood.'"

* * * * *

"I am told lynching is a pastime in this section."

"Well, we do loop the loop occasionally."

* * * * *

"The house a lawyer once enjoy'd,
Now to a smith doth pass;
How naturally the _iron_ age
Succeeds the _age of brass_!"

* * * * *

TOMDICK--I'd like to find some girl willing to marry me.

ANDARRY--Ah! You want one ready maid.

* * * * *

TEACHER--Yes, dear; ova refers to an egg.

WILLY--Then when they throw bad eggs at an actor he gets a
literal ovation, I s'pose.

* * * * *

IKEY--Fader, is "imbegunious" undt "inzolvent" der same?

FADER--Nodt at all! "Imbegunious" is ven a man has got no more
money, undt "inzolvent" is ven his greditors has got about all
der money dey are goin' to get.

* * * * *

SHE--"Are you fond of tea?"

HE--"Yes; but I like the next letter better."

* * * * *

It was the morning after, and he wanted a small favor.

"I admit that I am temporarily hard up," he said, "but that's
because I can't realize."

"Can't realize on what?"

"On my thirst. If I could only sell that thirst for half what it
cost me I'd be all right."

* * * * *

When the penniless lordling to get a rich wife
Of his own nationality fails,
He crosses the ocean with heart light and gay
And robs the United States males.

* * * * *

HUSBAND--My dear, how would you like a book for a present?

WIFE--Very much.

"Well, what sort of a book would you like--a book of poems, for
instance?"

"No; a bank-book."

* * * * *

"That sounds