ng."

"That's exactly what I am. I bet five dollars it would rain
yesterday, and it didn't!"

* * * * *

"Can you swim, little boy?"

"Yes, sir."

"Where did you learn?"

"In the water, sir."

* * * * *

MILLIE--"I wonder what the holes in a porous plaster are for?"

WILLIE--"Why, they're for the pain to come out through, of
course!"

* * * * *

"It's a good idea to make light of your troubles." "I do,"
replied Happigo; "whenever a creditor sends me a letter I burn
it."

* * * * *

"What have you got to say for yourself?" "Jes dis, suh; I wants a
liar to defend me." "You mean a lawyer?" "Yes, suh; I knowed I
most had it!"

* * * * *

"So her second husband is a tenor?"

"Yes; she says her first was a bass deceiver!"

* * * * *

"I cannot play second fiddle to any one."

"Then be my beau!"

* * * * *

JIMSON--Now, you wouldn't marry me, would you?

MISS SEARS--Most certainly not; but why do you ask such a
question?

JIMSON--Just to decide a bet.

* * * * *

CLARA--"He gave me an army-and-navy kiss."

MAUD--"What kind is that?"

CLARA--"Oh, rapid fire--sixty a minute!"

* * * * *

"Young man, don't you know you ought to lay something by for a
rainy day?" "I do; my rubbers."

* * * * *

THE ONLY REMEDY--"Mamma, I dess you'll have to turn the hose on
me."

"Why, dear?"

"'Tause I'se dot my 'tocking on wrong side out."

* * * * *

HE--"I saw you out driving yesterday with a gentleman. He
appeared to have only one arm; is that all he has?"

SHE--"Oh, no; the other arm was around somewhere."

* * * * *

"Why are pugilists like chickens?"

"Because they live on 'scraps!'"

* * * * *

MAY--I wonder what the men do at the club?

PAMELA--From what Jack says I guess they play with the kitty most
of the time.

* * * * *

SWATTER--I see you are mentioned in one of the books just
published.

PRIMLY--Indeed! What book?

SWATTER--The directory.

* * * * *

"Do you go to church to h