fancy," remarked the poet.
"Faith, I'd prefer a _rale_ fence," said Pat.

* * * * *

A boy who is frequently chastised both by his mother and
grandmother, speaks of them as "a spanking team."

* * * * *

A man aroused his wife from a sound sleep, the other night,
saying that he had seen a ghost in the shape of a donkey.

"Oh! let me sleep," the irate dame rejoined, "and don't be
frightened at your own shadow."

* * * * *

"What a fearful night I had when I drew this gun the first time!"
said the bartender, as he showed a handsome silver-mounted Colt.

"When was it?" gasped the crowd.

"Night before last at the raffle in Kelley's!"

* * * * *

"Gee whizz!" said the boy who had been forced to take castor oil.
"I do wish ma was a Christian Scientist!"

* * * * *

If you want to see a strong organization, look at the whisky
dealers; if you want to see a weak one, look at the consumers.

* * * * *

With cards and dice, and dress and friends,
My savings are complete;
I light the candle at both ends,
And thus make both ends meet.

* * * * *

"There goes a man who leads in letters."

"Ah, indeed! What's his name?"

"A.A. Adams."

* * * * *

Lawyers practice at the bar, while bartenders and mosquitoes
practice inside of it.

* * * * *

A squall on the sea is a stress of weather, and a squaller on
land is a songstress.

* * * * *

Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder
luck than you.

* * * * *

When a man is short of money he finds most of his friends whom he
meets short-sighted.

* * * * *

A beautiful lassie named Florence,
Once wept till her tears flowed in torence.
When asked why she cried,
She sighed, and replied,
"The Sheriff's been here with some worence."

* * * * *

In this glorious land of the free, you always have to pay for the
drinks in order to get a whack at the free lunch.

* * * * *

GRACE--"Fred and Mabel are not on speaking terms any mo