ch.

* * * * *

The following is a resolution of an Irish corporation: "That a
new jail should be built, that this be done out of the material
of the old one, and the old jail to be used until the new one be
completed."

* * * * *

City Niece--"The windows in our new church are stained."

Country Aunt--"Ain't that a pity. Can't they get nothing to take
it off?"

* * * * *

Broker--"Don't you find it easier to shave some men than others?"

Barber--"Yes; don't you?"

* * * * *

"Say Dad, what is an expert accountant?"

"An expert accountant," replied the father, "is a man who becomes
famous by robbing a bank for two years before he is discovered."

* * * * *

Some men get up with the lark, while others want a swallow the
first thing in the morning.

* * * * *

HE--Time and tide wait for no man.

SHE--No, but a woman will.

* * * * *

Sing not to me of falling dew
Upon the purple hills,
For I am worried far too much
By falling due of bills.

* * * * *

"You say his wife's a brunette? I thought he married a blonde."

"He did, but she dyed."

* * * * *

"Miss Prim is a very proper young lady."

"Yes; she wouldn't even accompany a young man on the piano
without a chaperon."

* * * * *

"He's quite a star as an after dinner speaker, isn't he?"

"Star? He's a regular moon. He becomes brighter the fuller he
gets."

* * * * *

DICK--"Do you think you'll have much trouble in popping the
question?"

TOM--"No, I think I'll have more trouble in questioning the pop."

* * * * *

What do you think of Windig?

He reminds me of a river.

What's the answer?

The biggest part of him is his mouth.

* * * * *

Here is a chestnut your ire arouses,
So often it's brought to your minds,
"People who live in glass houses"
Should always "pull down the blinds."

* * * * *

"Yes, the team is quite a good one, Mr. Horsley," he said as he
returned the livery man's brag team, "but it has two drawbacks."