re."

BELLA--"Why, I thought they were engaged."

GRACE--"So they are. They just sit for hours and hold each
other's hands."

* * * * *

"Do you believe in luck?"

"Sometimes. See that fat woman with the red hat over there?"

"Yes."

"Twenty years ago she refused to marry me."

* * * * *

"Haven't I told you before," he cried, "to sing out the names of
stations clearly and distinctly? Bear in mind. Sing 'em out. Do
you hear?"

"I will sir."

And when the next train came in the passengers were considerably
astonished to hear Pat sing:

"Sweet Dreamland Faces
Passing to and fro,
Change here for Limerick,
Galway and Mayo."

* * * * *

"A butcher knows how to make both ends meet."

"Yes, if you give him the proper steer."

* * * * *

"That man has had five wives."

"Tandem or simultaneously?"

"I don't understand."

"Is he a Mormon or a Chicago man?"

* * * * *

HE--How does it happen that none of you women have come forward
with a new currency plan?

SHE--Oh, we already have a perfect one. When we need currency we
just sit down and cry for it.

* * * * *

A boil in the pot is worth two on the neck.

* * * * *

Letters from, a soldier of fortune--I.O.U.

* * * * *

"I'm very much surprised," quoth Harry,
"That Jane a gambler should marry."
"I'm not at all," her sister says,
"You know he has such _winning ways_!"

* * * * *

Whether tall men, or short men are best,
Or bold men, or modest and shy men,
I can't say, but this I protest,
All the fair are in favor of _Hy-men_.

* * * * *

An Irishman wandering up Fifth avenue saw in the window of a
photographer's shop a large photograph of Mephisto. He went
inside, and after gazing about the walls, said to the proprietor:

"I want to have a pichtur taken av meself an' me bruther. How
much?"

The proprietor named the figure.

"All right," said Pat. "Will you take it now?"

"Where is your brother?" asked the photographer. "He's in
Ireland," was the reply.

"Well my man," said the photographer, "we can't take his picture
unless he is here."

"Th