of the world until
she falls off a bicycle a few times.

* * * * *

MRS. FUSSY--"John you're the most unreasonable man I ever met in
my life."

MR. FUSSY--"I don't doubt it. I'm the only one that ever married
you."

* * * * *

Jonah's experience with the whale is proof that you can't keep a
good man down.

* * * * *

"Since I've been married I don't get half enough to eat."

"Well, you must remember that we are one now."

* * * * *

"What man in the army wore the biggest hat?"

"The one with the biggest head, of course."

* * * * *

"Nothing can make a woman so superlatively happy as to have a
baby of her own to kiss," exclaimed Mrs. McBride, rapturously, as
she fondled her firstborn.

"My dear," replied her husband, pityingly, "you can never know
the unutterable joy of being 'Next' in a crowded barber shop on
Saturday night."

* * * * *

"Aren't you afraid, dear, you'll catch cold in the scanty bathing
robe?" he asked.

"Oh, no," replied the dashing bride. "This is a very warm suit,
hubby, dear."

* * * * *

MRS. BENHAM--Our new minister's name is Stone.

BENHAM--Well, there are sermons in stones.

* * * * *

ALGY--"Charming widow, isn't she? They say she is to marry
again."

CHOLLY--"I wouldn't want to be a widow's second husband."

ALGY--"Well, I'd rather be a widow's second husband than her
first, doncher-know."

* * * * *

A Boston, man upon learning that there were 4,000 Poles in New
York, exclaimed: "What a place to raise beans."

* * * * *

* * * * *

FRED--"I had a fall last night which rendered me
unconscious for several hours."

ED--"You don't mean it? Where did you fall?"

FRED--"I fell asleep."

* * * * *

"I say, old chap, how short your overcoat is!"

"Oh, that's all right! It'll be long enough before I can afford a
new one."

* * * * *

PAT--"'Twas the divil of a blow the dago gave yer. Yer wuz near
Kilt."

MIKE--"Begorra, I wish I had died that I moite see the villain
hung."

* * * * *

JIM--"Wh