ay's
fishing?
MRS. BIXBY--No; but I have noticed how much easier you lie after
a day's fishing than upon other days.
* * * * *
"Nature never allows anything to run to waist."
"Humph! You've never seen a Vermont girl of forty."
* * * * *
"What's the matter here?"
"Man broke his neck."
"What story did he fall from?"
"Didn't fall--tried to see the top of the building."
* * * * *
According to a florist's magazine "Jacks are becoming cheap."
This may be true, but we have known men who would have been
willing to pay $10 for one to put with the two already in their
hands.
* * * * *
JOHNNY--What makes you look so tired?
TOMMY--My step-mother is sick end now I'll get licked before
every meal. The doctor says she must take exercise on an empty
stomach.
* * * * *
BROWN--"Peckhen has arrived safe. I just received a cablegram
from him."
SMITH--"Did he have a rough voyage?"
BROWN--"No; his wife didn't go."
* * * * *
"Oh, live and let live, my man."
"Yes, I'd look well, wouldn't I? I'm a butcher."
* * * * *
SMITH--I notice that Robinson has an article in the paper this
morning.
JONES--Indeed! I didn't see it. What was it?
SMITH--His spring overcoat. He was taking it to the tailor to be
pressed and cleaned.
* * * * *
When Lot found his wife transformed into a pillar of salt, he was
wise enough to let it go at that and not take a fresh one.
* * * * *
SOLOMAN SOLOMAN--Our frent Cohen must pe goin' t' haf a fire.
ISAAC ISAACS--Vy?
SOLOMAN SOLOMAN--Vell, he took oud an inshoorance bolicy
yeste'day.
* * * * *
"A telephone girl always reminds me of a pictured saint."
"Why?"
"There is a continual 'hello' around her head."
* * * * *
A husband and wife are considered one, but it is useless to try
to work that gag on the landlord when he presents the board bill.
* * * * *
"You haven't a cent, and yet wish to marry Miss Bilyan. Don't you
expect her father to kick you out?"
"Oh, no I intend to go before the footlights."
* * * * *
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