--A GOOD-HEARTED FELLOW.

IN a valedictory address an editor wrote: "If we have offended any man
in the short but brilliant course of our public career, let him send us
a _new hat_, and we will then forget the past." A cool chap that!

CCCLXXV.--EPIGRAM ON THE DEATH OF FOOTE.

FOOTE, from his earthly stage, alas! is hurled,
Death _took him off, who took off all_ the world.

CCCLXXVI.--THE ANGRY OCEAN.

"MOTHER, this book tells about the angry waves of the ocean. Now, what
makes the ocean get angry?"--"Because it has been _crossed_ so often, my
son."

CCCLXXVII.--BREVITY.

DR. ABERNETHY, the celebrated physician, was never more displeased than
by hearing a patient detail a long account of troubles. A woman, knowing
Abernethy's love of the laconic, having burned her hand, called at his
house. Showing him her hand, she said, "A burn."--"A poultice," quietly
answered the learned doctor. The next day she returned, and said,
"Better."--"Continue the poultice," replied Dr. A. In a week she made
her last call and her speech was lengthened to three words, "Well,--your
fee?"--"Nothing," said the physician; "you are the most sensible woman I
ever saw."

CCCLXXVIII.--EPIGRAM.

IF L--d--d--y has a grain of sense,
He can be only half a lord 'tis clear;
For from the fact we draw the inference,
He's that which never has been made _a peer_.

CCCLXXIX.--A BROAD-BRIM HINT.

A QUAKER said to a gunner, "Friend, I counsel no bloodshed; but if it be
thy design _to hit_ the little man in the blue jacket, point thine
engine three inches lower."

CCCLXXX.--AN ORDER FOR TWO.

AT the last rehearsal of "Joanna," Mr. Wild, the prompter, asked the
author for an order to admit two friends to the boxes; and whether Mr.
Cumberland was thinking of the probable proceeds of his play, or whether
his anxiety otherwise bewildered him, cannot be ascertained; but he
wrote, instead of the usual "two to the boxes"--"admit _two pounds
two_."

CCCLXXXI.--EPIGRAM FROM THE ITALIAN.

HIS hair so black,--his beard so gray,
'Tis strange! But would you know the cause?
'Tis that his labors always lay,
Less on his brain than on his _jaws_.

CCCLXXXII.--MARRIAGE.

A WIDOWER, having taken another wife, was, nevertheless, always paying
some panegyric to the memory of his late spouse, in the presence of his
present one; who on