to send
the little thing as a present to his mother. "Do," Jerrold replied,
"and tie a piece of paper round its neck, bearing this motto,--'When
this you see, remember me.'"

DCXLVII.--A NEW DISGUISE.

THE Duke of Norfolk of Foote's time was much addicted to the bottle. On
a masquerade night, he asked Foote what _new_ character he should go in.
"Go sober!" said Foote.

DCXLVIII.--WET AND DRY.

DR. MACKNIGHT, who was a better commentator than preacher, having been
caught in a shower of rain, entered the vestry soaked with wet. As the
time drew on for divine service he became much distressed, and
ejaculated over and over, "O, I wish that I was dry! Do you think I'm
dry? Do you think I'm dry eneuch noo?" To this his jocose colleague, Dr.
Henry, the historian, returned: "Bide a wee, doctor, and ye'se be _dry
eneuch_ when ye get into the _pu'pit_."

DCXLIX.--RUM AND WATER.

A CERTAIN Scotchman, who is not a member of any temperance society,
being asked by a dealer to purchase some fine old Jamaica, dryly
answered, "To tell you the truth, Mr. ----, I canna' say I'm very fond
of rum; for if I tak' mair than _six_ tum'lers, it's very apt to gi'e me
a headache."

DCL.--A BUDGET OF BLUNDERS.

PERHAPS the best concentrated specimen of blunders, such as occur in all
nations, but which, of course, are fathered upon Paddy wholesale, as if
by common consent, is the following:--

_Copy of a Letter, written during the Rebellion by Sir ----, an Irish
Member of Parliament, to his friend in London._

MY DEAR SIR,--

Having now a little peace and quietness, I sit down to inform you of the
dreadful bustle and confusion we are in from these blood-thirsty
rebels, most of whom are, I'm glad to say, killed and dispersed. We are
in a pretty mess, can get nothing to eat, nor wine to drink, except
whiskey, and when we sit down to dinner we are obliged to keep both
hands armed. Whilst I write this, I hold a sword in each hand and a
pistol in the other. I concluded from the beginning that this would be
the end of it, and I see I was right, for it is not half over yet. At
present there are such goings on that everything is at a standstill. I
should have answered your letter a fortnight ago, but I did not receive
it till this morning. Indeed, scarcely a mail arrives safe without being
robbed. No longer ago than yesterday the coach with the mails from
Dublin was robbed near this town; the bags had b