Y A VERY SMALL PIG.

AS Jekyll walked out in his gown and his wig,
He happened to tread on a very small pig:
"Pig of science," he said, "or else I'm mistaken,
For surely thou art an _abridgment of Bacon_."

DXLII.--UNKIND.

"PRAY, sir," said Lady Wallace to David Hume, "I am often asked what age
I am; what answer should I make?" Mr. Hume, immediately guessing her
ladyship's meaning, said, "Madam, when you are asked that question
again, answer that you are not yet come to the years of _discretion_."

DXLIII.--DEAN SWIFT AND KING WILLIAM.

THE motto which was inserted under the arms of William, Prince of
Orange, on his accession to the English crown, was, _Non rapui sed
recepi_ ["I did not _steal_ it, but I _received_ it"]. This being shown
to Dean Swift, he said, with a sarcastic smile, "The _receiver_ is as
bad as the _thief_."

DXLIV.--EPIGRAM.

(On ----'s declaring his detestation of all meanness).

IF really ---- do but loathe
Things base or mean, I must confess
I'd very freely take my oath,
Self-love's a fault he don't possess.

DXLV.--ELOQUENT SILENCE.

"YOU have already read that section four times, Mr. ----," said Maule to
a prosing counsel. "It's iteration! It's ----, I use no _epithet_, it is
iteration;" his look implying _the anathema_.

DXLVI.--KEEPING A PROMISE.

THUS, with kind words, Fairface cajoled his friend:
"Dear Dick! on me thou may'st assured depend;
I know thy fortune is but very scant,
But never will I see my friend in want."
Dick soon in gaol, believed his friend would free him;
He kept his word,--in want he ne'er would see him!

DXLVII.--NAVAL ORATORY.

WHEN Admiral Cornwallis commanded the Canada, a mutiny broke out in the
ship, on account of some accidental delay in paying the crew. The men
signed _a round robin_, wherein they declared that they would not fire a
gun till they were paid. Captain Cornwallis, on receiving this
declaration, caused all hands to be called on deck, and thus addressed
them: "My lads, the money cannot be paid till we return to port, and as
to your not fighting, that is mere nonsense:--I'll clap you alongside
the first large ship of the enemy I see, and I know that the Devil
himself will not be able to _keep you from it_." The men all returned to
their duty, better satisfied than if they had been paid the money ten
times over.