time; and if time will away,
I see no reason why the watch should stay.
You say the key hung out, and you failed to lock it;
Time will not be kept pris'ner in a pocket.
Henceforth, if you will keep your watch, this do,
Pocket your watch, and watch your pocket, too.

DCIV.--PERFECT DISCONTENT.

AN old lady was in the habit of talking to Jerrold in a gloomy
depressing manner, presenting to him only the sad side of life. "Hang
it!" said Jerrold, one day, after a long and sombre interview, "she
wouldn't allow there was a bright side to the moon."

DCV.--A BAD BARGAIN.

A MAN bought a horse on condition that he should pay half down, and be
in debt for the remainder. A short time after, the seller demanding
payment of the balance, the other answered, "No; it was agreed that I
should be _in your debt_ for the _remainder_; how can that be if I _pay_
it?"

DCVI.--A PIOUS MINISTER.

IF it be true that the heads of the country should set religious example
to their inferiors, the E---- of R----, in his observance of one of the
commandments, is a pattern to the community; for, not only on the
Sabbath, but through the week, he takes care as Postmaster-General to do
_no manner of work_.

DCVII.--STERNE.

SOME person remarked to him that apothecaries bore the same relation to
physicians that attorneys do to barristers. "So they do," said Sterne;
"but apothecaries and attorneys are not alike, for the latter do not
deal in _scruples_."

DCVIII.--WHO'S THE FOOL?

MR. SERGEANT PARRY, in illustration of a case, told the following
anecdote:--

Some merchants went to an Eastern sovereign, and exhibited for sale
several very fine horses. The king admired them, and bought them; he,
moreover, gave the merchants a lac of rupees to purchase more horses for
him. The king one day, in a sportive humor, ordered the vizier to make
out a list of all the fools in his dominions. He did so, and put his
Majesty's name at the head of them. The king asked why. He replied,
"Because you entrusted a lac of rupees to men you don't know, and who
will never come back."--"Ay, but suppose they should come back?"--"Then
I shall erase _your_ name and insert _theirs_."

DCIX.--COLD COMFORT.

A JURYMAN, kept several days at his own expense, sent a friend to the
judge to complain that he had been paid nothing for his attendance. "O,
tell him," said the witty judge, "that if