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was going to Margate, and I thought the school-bell was the steamboat-bell."--"Very well," said the master, glad of any pretext to excuse his favorite. "And now, sir," turning to the other, "what have you to say?"--"Please, sir," said the puzzled boy, "_I--I--was waiting to see Tom off_!" DXI.--ANTICIPATION. LORD AVONDALE, Chief Baron of the Exchequer, was much given to anticipation. A lawyer once observed in his presence, "Coming through the market just now I saw a butcher, with his knife, going to kill a calf; at that moment a child ran across him, and he killed ----" "O, my goodness!--he killed _the child_!" exclaimed his lordship. "No, my lord, _the calf_; but you will always anticipate." DXII.--THE BEST JUDGE. A LADY said to her husband, in Jerrold's presence:-- "My dear, you certainly want some new trousers."--"No, I think not," replied the husband. "Well," Jerrold interposed, "I think the lady who always wears them ought to know." DXIII.--THE RIVALS. A GOOD story of Gibbon is told in the last volume of Moore's Memoirs. The _dramatis personae_ were Lady Elizabeth Foster, Gibbon the historian, and an eminent French physician,--the historian and doctor being rivals in courting the lady's favor. Impatient at Gibbon's occupying so much of her attention by his conversation, the doctor said crossly to him, "_Quand milady Elizabeth Foster sera malade de vos fadaises, je la guerirai_." [When my Lady Elizabeth Foster is made ill by your twaddle, I will cure her.] On which Gibbon, drawing himself up grandly, and looking disdainfully at the physician, replied, "_Quand milady Elizabeth Foster sera morte de vos recettes, je l'im-mor-taliserai_." [When my Lady Elizabeth Foster is dead from your recipes I will immortalize her.] DXIV.--DEAD LANGUAGE. AMONG the many English who visited Paris in 1815 was Alderman Wood, who had previously filled the office of Lord Mayor of London. He ordered a hundred visiting cards, inscribing upon them. "Alderman Wood, _feu Lord Maire de Londres_," which he distributed amongst people of rank, having translated the word "late" into "_feu_," which we need hardly state means "dead." DXV.--WALPOLIANA. SIR JOHN GERMAIN was so ignorant, that he is said to have left a legacy to Sir Matthew Decker, as the _author_ of St. Matthew's Gospel. Churchill (General C----, a natural son of the Marlborough family) asked Pulteney the ot
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