at them, just as they are!"

Mr. Jeems did let drive, as advised, but all flew off, safe and sound.
"Hech, sir (remarks his friend), but ye've made thae yins shift _their
quarters_."

DLXXVIII.--A LITERAL JOKE.

LORD ELDON always pronounced the word _lien_ as though it were _lyon_;
and Sir Arthur Pigot pronounced the same word _lean_. On this Jekyll
wrote the following epigram:--

"Sir Arthur, Sir Arthur, why, what do you mean,
By saying the Chancellor's _lion_ is _lean_?
D'ye think that his kitchen's so bad as all that,
That nothing within it will ever get fat?"

DLXXIX.--AN ARGUMENT.

SAYS P--l--s, "Why the Bishops are
By nature meant the _soil_ to share,
I'll quickly make you understand;
For can we not deduct with ease,
That nature has designed the _seas_
Expressly to _divide the land_?"

DLXXX.--THE CANDLE AND LANTERN.

DURING the period Sir Busick Harwood was Professor of Anatomy in the
University of Cambridge, he was called in, in a case of some
difficulty, by the friends of a patient, who were anxious for his
opinion of the malady. Being told the name of the medical man who had
previously prescribed, Sir Busick exclaimed, "He! if he were to descend
into the patient's stomach with a _candle and lantern_, when he ascended
he would not be able to name the complaint."

DLXXXI.--ONE HEAD BETTER THAN A DOZEN.

KING HENRY VIII., designing to send an embassy to Francis I. at a very
dangerous juncture, the nobleman selected begged to be excused, saying,
"Such a threatening message to so hot a prince as Francis I. might go
near to cost him his life."--"Fear not," said old Harry, "if the French
king should take away your life, I will take off the heads of a dozen
Frenchmen now in my power."--"But of all these heads," replied the
nobleman, "there may not be _one to fit_ my shoulders."

DLXXXII.--KEEPING A CONSCIENCE.

THE great controversy on the propriety of requiring a subscription to
articles of faith, as practised by the Church of England, excited at
this time (1772) a very strong sensation amongst the members of the two
universities. Paley, when pressed to sign the clerical petition which
was presented to the House of Commons for relief, excused himself,
saying, "He could not _afford_ to keep a conscience."

DLXXXIII.--DEBTOR AND CREDITOR.

A TRADESMAN having dunned a customer for a long time, the