phabetical_ order."

DLXXII.--THEATRICAL WIT.

HATTON, who was a considerable favorite at the Haymarket Theatre, and
particularly in the part of _Jack Junk_, was one night at Gosport,
performing the character of _Barbarossa_. In the scene where the tyrant
makes love to _Zapphira_, and reminds her of his services against the
enemies of her kingdom, he was at a loss, and could not catch the word
from the prompter, when, seeing the house crowded with sailors, and
regardless of the gross anachronism, he exclaimed, with all the energy
of tragedy--

"Did not I,
By that brave knight Sir Sidney Smith assisted,
And in conjunction with the gallant Nelson,
Drive Bonaparte and his fierce marauders
From Egypt's shores?"

The jolly tars thought that it was all in his part, and cheered the
actor with three rounds of applause.

DLXXIII.--THE CUT DIRECT.

A GENTLEMAN having his hair cut, was asked by the garrulous operator
"how he would have it done?"--"If possible," replied the gentleman, "_in
silence_."

DLXXIV.--BUSY BODIES.

A MASTER of a ship called out, "Who is below?" A boy answered, "Will,
sir."--"What are you doing?"--"Nothing, sir."--"Is Tom there?"--"Yes,"
said Tom. "What are _you_ doing?"--"Helping Will, sir."

DLXXV.--THE HOPEFUL PUPIL.

WHEN the comedy of "She Stoops to Conquer" was in rehearsal, Goldsmith
took great pains to give the performers his ideas of their several
parts. On the first representation he was not a little displeased to
hear the representative of _Young Marlow_ play it as an Irishman. As
soon as _Marlow_ came off the stage, Goldsmith asked him the meaning of
this, as it was by no means intended as an Irish character. "Sir,"
replied the comedian, "I spoke it as nearly as I could to the manner in
which you instructed me, except that I did not give it quite so strong
a _brogue_."

DLXXVI.--THE FORCE OF HABIT.

A TOPING bookseller presented a check at the banking-house of Sir W.
Curtis and Co., and upon the cashier putting the usual question, "How
will you have it?" replied, "_Cold, without sugar_."

DLXXVII.--NOTICE TO QUIT.

AN Ayrshire gentleman, when out on the 1st of September, having failed
time after time in bringing down a single bird, had at last pointed out
to him by his attendant bag-carrier, a large covey, thick and close on
the stubbles. "Noo! Mr. Jeems, let drive