entleman,
"Are you the lad who took away my plate for this beef?"--"Yes,
sir."--"Bless me," resumed the hungry wit, "how _you have grown_!"

DXXII.--A NOVEL IDEA.

"MORROW'S Library" is the Mudie of Dublin; and the Rev. Mr. Day, a
popular preacher. "How inconsistent," said Archbishop Whately, "is the
piety of certain ladies here. They go to _Day_ for a sermon and to
_Morrow_ for a novel!"

DXXIII.--THE SPIRIT AND THE LETTER.

A MAN was described in a plea as "I. Jones," and the pleader referred
in another part of the plea to "I" as an "initial." The plaintiff said
that the plea was bad, because "I" was not a name. Sir W. Maule said
that there was no reason why a man might not be christened "I" as well
as Isaac, inasmuch as either could be pronounced alone. The counsel for
the plaintiff then objected that the plea admitted that "I" was not a
name by describing it as "an initial."--"Yes," retorted the judge, "but
it does not aver that it is not a _final_ as well as an _initial_
letter."

DXXIV.--LOSING AN I.

A MAN being interrogated on a trial, spoke several words with much
impropriety; and at last saying the word _curosity_, a counsellor
exclaimed, "How that fellow murders the English language!"--"Nay,"
returned another, "he has only knocked an _I_ out."

DXXV.--DRIVING IT HOME.

THE late James Fergusson, Clerk of Session, a most genial and amiable
man, of whose periodical fits of absence most edifying stories are still
repeated by his friends, was an excellent and eloquent speaker, but in
truth, there was often more sound than matter in his orations. He had a
habit of lending emphasis to his arguments by violently beating with his
clenched hand the bar before which he pleaded. Once when stating a case
to Lord Polkemmet, with great energy of action, his lordship interposed,
and exclaimed, "Maister Jemmy, dinna dunt; ye think ye're duntin't
_into_ me, and ye're just duntin't _out o' me_."

DXXVI.--THE EMPTY GUN.

AS Dick and Tom in fierce dispute engage,
And, face to face, the noisy contest wage;
"Don't _cock_ your chin at me," Dick smartly cries.
"Fear not--his head's not _charged_," a friend replies.

DXXVII.--A PIECE OF PLATE.

A YOUNG actor having played a part tolerably well, Elliston one evening
called him into the green-room, and addressed him to this effect:
"Young man, you have not only pleased the public, but you have pl