o dull, one would think he chewed opium. Earl says, "I have heard an
_oyster_ speak as well twenty times."

DLIII.--NOT POLITE.

MR. P----, a candidate for Berkshire, was said to have admitted his want
of _head_, by demanding a _poll_.

DLIV.--EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.

A CASE of some great offence was tried before Lord Hermand (who was a
great toper), and the counsel pleaded extenuation for his client in that
he was _drunk_ when he committed the offence. "Drunk!" exclaimed Lord
Hermand, in great indignation; "if he could do such a thing when he was
drunk, what might he not have done when he was _sober_?" evidently
implying that the normal condition of human nature and its most hopeful
one, was a condition of intoxication.

DLV.--ON MR. HUSBAND'S MARRIAGE.

THIS case is the strangest we've known in our life,
The husband's a husband, and so is the wife.

DLVI.--CONFIDENCE.

THE first time Jerrold saw a celebrated song-writer, the latter said to
him:--

"Youngster, have you sufficient confidence in me to lend me a guinea?"

_Jerrold._--"O yes; I've all the confidence, but I have n't the guinea."

DLVII.--LADY ANNE.

AT Portsmouth, during the representation of _Richard the Third_, on
Richard exclaiming, "O, take more pity in thine eyes, and see him here,"
Miss White, who was in Lady Anne, indignantly exclaimed, "Would they
were _battle-axes_ (basilisks) to strike _thee dead_."

DLVIII.--NICE LANGUAGE.

A MAN being tried for sheep-stealing, evidence was given that he had
been seen washing tripe. The counsel for the Crown, in examining the
witness, observed with ill-timed indelicacy, "He was washing
_bowels_?"--"Yes, sir."--"The bowels of an animal, I suppose?"--"Yes,
sir." The counsel sits down. Justice Maule: "Pray, was it _a wren's_
stomach?"

DLIX.--UNPOETICAL REPLY.

A HARDY seaman, who had escaped one of the recent shipwrecks upon our
coast, was asked by a good lady how he felt when the waves broke over
him. He replied, "_Wet_, ma'am,--_very wet_."

DLX.--IMITATION OF A COW.

MR. JAMES BOSWELL, the friend and biographer of Dr. Johnson, when a
youth, went to the pit of Covent Garden Theatre in company with Dr.
Blair, and, in a frolic, imitated the lowing of a cow; and the universal
cry in the galleries was, "Encore the cow! Encore the cow!" This was
complied with, and, in the pride of success, Mr. Boswell atte