h-bis-
Hop was not there,
Because there was no _beer_."

CDLXI.--UNREMITTING KINDNESS.

"CALL that a kind man," said an actor, speaking of an absent
acquaintance; "a man who is away from his family, and never sends them a
farthing! Call that kindness?"

"Yes, unremitting kindness," Jerrold replied.

CDLXII.--KEAN'S IMPROMPTU.

AT Birmingham, one of Kean's "benefits" was a total failure. In the last
scene of the play ("A New Way to pay Old Debts"), wherein allusion is
made to the marriage of a lady, "Take her, sir," Kean suddenly added,
"and the Birmingham _audience_ into the bargain."

CDLXIII.--A TRUTH FOR THE LADIES.

A LEARNED doctor has given his opinion that tight lacing is a public
benefit, inasmuch as it _kills off_ all the foolish girls, and leaves
the wise only to grow into women.

CDLXIV.--A MARK OF RESPECT.

CONGREVE was disputing a point of fact with a man of a very positive
disposition, but one who was not overburdened with sense. The latter
said to him, "If the fact is not as I have stated, I'll give you my
head."--"I accept it," said Congreve; "for _trifles_ show respect."

CDLXV.--A GRETNA CUSTOMER.

A RUNAWAY couple were married at Gretna Green. The smith demanded five
guineas for his services. "How is this?" said the bridegroom, "the
gentleman you last married assured me that he only gave you a
guinea."--"True," said the smith, "but _he_ was an Irishman. I have
married him six times. _He is a good customer_, and _you_ I may never
see again."

CDLXVI.--LEAVING HIS VERDICT.

"I REMEMBER," says Lord Biden, "Mr. Justice Gould trying a case at York,
and when he had proceeded for about two hours, he observed, 'Here are
only eleven jurymen in the box, where is the twelfth?'--'Please you, my
lord,' said one of the eleven, 'he has gone away about some other
business--but _he has left his verdict with me_!'"

CDLXVII.--OVER-WISE.

IN a lecture-room of St. John's College, Cambridge, a student one
morning, construing the Medea of Euripides came to the following
passage:--

[Greek: All ouk arisophos eimi.]

To which he gave the proper sense,--

"I am not _over-wise_;"

but pausing as if he doubted its correctness,--"_You_ are quite right,
sir," observed the lecturer; "go on."

CDLXVIII.--IMPROMPTU.

'TIS said that walls have ears; if this be true,
St Stephen's walls the gift must oft