e day added, with great feeling, "Believe me, my
dear, nobody regrets _her loss_ more than I do."
CCCLXXXIII.--FISHING FOR A COMPLIMENT.
A YOUNG man having preached for the doctor one day, was anxious to get a
word of applause for his labor of love. The grave doctor, however, did
not introduce the subject, and his younger brother was obliged to bait
the hook for him. "I hope, sir, I did not weary your people by the
_length_ of my sermon to-day?"--"No, sir, not at all; nor by the _depth_
either!" The young man was silent.
CCCLXXXIV.--VISIBLE PROOF.
AN Irishman being asked on a late trial for a certificate of his
marriage, exhibited a _huge scar_ on his head, which looked as though it
might have been made with a fire-shovel. The evidence was satisfactory.
CCCLXXXV.--SIMPLICITY OF THE LEARNED PORSON.
THE great scholar had a horror of the east wind; and Tom Sheridan once
kept him prisoner in the house for a fortnight by _fixing_ the
weathercock in that direction.
CCCLXXXVI.--EPIGRAM ADDRESSED TO MISS EDGEWORTH.
WE every-day bards may "Anonymous" sign:
That refuge, Miss Edgeworth, can never be thine:
Thy writings, where satire and moral unite,
Must bring forth the name of their author to light.
Good and bad join in telling the source of their birth,
The bad own their _Edge_ and the good own their _worth_.
CCCLXXXVII.--KEEN REPLY.
A RETIRED vocalist, who had acquired a large fortune by marriage, was
asked to sing in company. "Allow me," said he, "to imitate the
nightingale, which does not sing after it has _made its nest_."
CCCLXXXVIII.--A GOOD EXAMPLE.
IN the House of Commons, the grand characteristic of the office of the
Speaker is silence; and he fills the place best who best holds his
tongue. There are other _speakers_ in the House (not official) who would
show their sagacity by following the example of their President.
CCCLXXXIX.--A CERTAINTY.
A PHYSICIAN passing by a stone-mason's shop bawled out, "Good morning,
Mr. D.! Hard at work, I see. You finish your gravestones as far as 'In
the memory of,' and then wait, I suppose, to see who wants a monument
next?"--"Why, yes," replied the old man, "unless somebody's sick, and
_you_ are doctoring him; then I _keep right on_."
CCCXC.--NOMINAL RHYMES.
THE COURT OF ALDERMEN AT FISHMONGERS' HALL.
IS that dace or perch?
Said Alderma
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