hint was immediately acted on, and, like another John
Gilpin, he moved away with his "balance true."

CDXC.--GOOD RIDDANCE.

A CERTAIN well-known provincial bore having left a tavern-party, of
which Burns was one, the bard immediately demanded a bumper, and,
addressing himself to the chairman, said, "I give you the health,
gentlemen all, of the _waiter_ that called my Lord ---- out of the
room."

CDXCI.--CALCULATION.

SAYS Giles, "My wife and I are _two_,
Yet, faith, I know not why, sir."
Quoth Jack, "You're _ten_, if I speak true;
She 's _one_ and you're a _cipher_."

CDXCII.--GEORGE II. AND THE RECORDER.

WHEN that vacancy happened on the Exchequer Bench which was afterwards
filled by Mr. Adams, the Ministry could not agree among themselves whom
to appoint. It was debated in Council, the King, George II., being
present; till, the dispute growing very warm, his Majesty put an end to
the contest by calling out, in broken English, "I will have none of
dese, give me the man wid de _dying speech_," meaning Mr. Adams, who was
then Recorder of London, and whose business it therefore was to make the
report to his Majesty of the convicts under sentence of death.

CDXCIII.--SLEEPING ROUND.

THE celebrated Quin had this faculty. "What sort of a morning is it,
John?"--"Very wet, sir."--"Any mullet in the market?"--"No,
sir."--"Then, John, you may call me this time to-morrow." So saying, he
composed himself to sleep, and got rid of the _ennui_ of a dull day.

CDXCIV.--AT HIS FINGERS' ENDS.

"I SUPPOSE," said a quack, while feeling the pulse of his patient, "that
you think me a _humbug_?"--"Sir," replied the sick man, "I perceive that
you can _discover_ a man's thoughts by your touch."

CDXCV.--NOT SO EASY.

A CERTAIN learned serjeant, who is apt to be testy in argument, was
advised by the Court not to _show temper_, but to _show cause_.

CDXCVI.--A POINT.

POPE was one evening at Button's coffee-house, where he and a set of
literati had got poring over a Latin manuscript, in which they had found
a passage that none of them could comprehend. A young officer, who heard
their conference, begged that he might be permitted to look at the
passage. "Oh," says Pope, sarcastically, "by all means; pray let the
young gentleman look at it." Upon which the officer took up the
manuscript, and, considering it a while, said there only wante