,
be sure and send me their new works_."
CDXVII.--PUTTING A STOP TO PILGRIM'S PROGRESS.
JEMMY GORDON, meeting the prosecutor of a felon, named _Pilgrim_, who
was convicted and sentenced to be transported at the Cambridge assizes,
exclaimed, "You have done, sir, what the Pope of Rome could never do;
you have put a stop to _Pilgrim's Progress_!"
CDXVIII.--EPIGRAM.
LIFE is a lottery where we find
That fortune plays full many a prank;
And when poor ---- got his mind,
'Twas fortune made him _draw a blank_.
CDXIX.--A SUDDEN CHANGE.
ONE drinking some beer at a petty ale-house in the country, which was
very strong of the hops and hardly any taste of the malt, was asked by
the landlord, if it was not well hopped. "Yes," answered he, "if it had
hopped a little farther, it would have _hopped into the water_."
CDXX.--VALUABLE DISCOVERY.
A RECENT philosopher discovered a method to avoid being dunned!
"How--how--how?" we hear everybody asking. He _never_ run in debt.
CDXXI.--A USEFUL ALLY.
"_Cracked_ China mended!" Zounds, man, off this minute! There's work for
you, or else the deuce is in it!
CDXXII.--TWO SIDES TO A SPEECH.
CHARLES LAMB sitting next some chattering woman at dinner, observing he
didn't attend to her, "You don't seem," said the lady, "to be at all the
better for what I am saying to you!"--"No, ma'am," he answered, "but
this gentleman on the other side of me must, for it all came in at _one
ear_ and went out at _the other_!"
CDXXIII.--WILKIE'S SIMPLICITY.
ON the birth of a friend's son (now a well-known novelist), Sir David
Wilkie was requested to become one of the sponsors for his child. Sir
David, whose studies of human nature extended to everything but infant
human nature, had evidently been refreshing his boyish recollections of
puppies and kittens; for, after looking intently into the child's eyes,
as it was held up for his inspection, he exclaimed to the father, with
serious astonishment and satisfaction, "He _sees_!"
CDXXIV.--RINGING THE CHANGES.
AT a tavern one night,
Messrs. _More_, _Strange_, and _Wright_
Met to drink, and good thoughts to exchange:
Says More, "Of us three,
The whole town will agree,
There is only one knave, and that's _Strange_."
"Yes," says Strange (rather sore),
"I'm sure there's one _More_,
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