ountry friend helped himself to it with
the gentleman's glass. "That's cool!" exclaimed the owner of the wine,
indignantly. "Yes," replied the other; "I should think there was _ice_
in it."

CDII.--NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH.

DURING a recent representation of King Lear at one of our metropolitan
theatres, an old gentleman from the country, who was visibly affected by
the pathos of some of the scenes, electrified the house by roaring out,
"Mr. Manager! Sir! Alter the play! I didn't pay my money to be made
_wretched_ in this way. Give us something funny, or I'll _summons_ you,
sir!"

CDIII.--AS YOU LIKE IT.

AN old sea captain used to say he didn't care how he dressed when
abroad, "because _nobody_ knew him." And he didn't care how he dressed
when at home, "because _everybody_ knew him."

CDIV.--AN UPRIGHT MAN.

ERSKINE was once retained for a Mr. Bolt, whose character was impugned
by Mr. Mingay, the counsel on the other side. "Gentlemen," said Erskine,
in reply, "the plaintiff's counsel has taken unwarrantable liberties
with my client's good name, representing him as litigious and unjust. So
far, however, from this being his character, he goes by the name of
_Bolt upright_."

CDV.--THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON AND THE AURIST.

ON one occasion the Duke's deafness was alluded to by Lady A----, who
asked if she was sitting on his right side, and if he had benefited by
the operations which she heard had been performed, and had been so
painful to him. He said, in reply, that the gentleman had been bold
enough to ask him for a certificate, but that he had really been of no
service to him, and that he could only answer him by saying, "I tell you
what, I _won't say_ a word about it."

CDVI.--TRUTH NOT ALWAYS TO BE SPOKEN.

IF a man were to set out calling everything by its right name, he would
be knocked down before he got to the corner of the street.

CDVII.--ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.

(To those in want of employment.)

Whoe'er will at the "Gloucester's Head" apply,
Is always sure to find a _vacancy_.

CDVIII.--A "DOUBLE TIMES."

A HUGE, double-sheeted copy of the _Times_ newspaper was put into the
hands of a member of the Union Club by one of the waiters. "Oh, what a
bore all this is," said the member, surveying the gigantic journal.
"Ah," answered another member, who overheard him, "it is all very well
for you who are occupied all day