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rrold. CCCLVII.--A COMPLIMENT ILL-RECEIVED. A PERSON who dined in company with Dr. Johnson endeavored to make his court to him by laughing immoderately at everything he said. The doctor bore it for some time with philosophical indifference; but the impertinent _ha, ha, ha!_ becoming intolerable, "Pray, sir," said the doctor, "what is the matter? I hope I have not said anything that _you_ can comprehend." CCCLVIII.--TRUTH NOT TO BE SPOKEN AT ALL TIMES. GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came that a company of players were going to perform at Birmingham. Lord Lyttelton said to Garrick, "They will hear you are in the neighborhood, and will ask you to write an address to the Birmingham audience."--"Suppose, then," said Garrick, without the least hesitation, "I begin thus:-- Ye sons of iron, copper, brass, and steel, Who have not heads to think, nor hearts to feel--" "Oh!" cried his lordship, "if you begin thus, they will hiss the players off the stage and pull the house down."--"My lord," said Garrick, "what is the use of an address if it does not come home to the _business_ and _bosoms_ of the audience?" CCCLIX.--A GOOD REASON. A GENTLEMAN, talking with his gardener, expressed his admiration at the rapid growth of the trees. "Why, yes, sir," says the man; "please to consider that they have _nothing_ else to do." CCCLX.--FOLLOWING A LEADER. FRANKLIN, when ambassador to France, being at a meeting of a literary society, and not well understanding the French when declaimed, determined to applaud when he saw a lady of his acquaintance express satisfaction. When they had ceased, a little child, who understood the French, said to him, "But, grandpapa, you always applauded the loudest when they were _praising you_!" Franklin laughed heartily and explained the matter. CCCLXI.--IDOLATRY. THE toilette of a woman is an altar erected by self-love to vanity. CCCLXII.--TWICE RUINED. "I NEVER was ruined but twice," said a wit; "once when I _lost_ a lawsuit, and once when I _gained_ one." CCCLXIII.--Q.E.D. A COUNTRY schoolmaster was met by a certain nobleman, who asked his name and vocation. Having declared his name, he added, "And I am master of this parish."--"Master of this parish," observed the peer, "how can that be?"--"I am master of the children of the parish," said the man; "the children are masters of their m
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