ter in the agonies of _drowning_,
"What a pity," he exclaimed, "that I have not had the honor of being
_introduced_ to the gentleman; I might have saved him;" and walked on,
leaving the poor fellow to his fate.

CCCXLVIII.--EPIGRAM.

(On interminable harangues.)

YE fates that hold the vital shears,
If ye be troubled with remorse,
And will not cut ----'s _thread of life_,
Cut then the _thread of his discourse_.

CCCXLIX.--HALF-WAY.

A HORSEMAN crossing a moor, asked a countryman, if it was safe riding.
"Ay," answered the countryman, "it is hard enough at the _bottom_, I'll
warrant you;" but in half-a-dozen steps the horse sunk up to the girths.
"You story-telling rascal, you said it was hard at the bottom!"--"Ay,"
replied the other, "but you are not _half-way_ to the bottom yet."

CCCL.--SELF-KNOWLEDGE.

"----," said one of his eulogists, "always knows his own mind." We will
cede the point, for it amounts to an admission that he _knows nothing_.

CCCLI.--TWO OF A TRADE.

WHEN Bannister was asked his opinion of a new singer that had appeared
at Covent Garden, "Why," said Charles, "he may be Robin Hood this
season, but he will be _robbing_ Harris (the manager) the next."

CCCLII.--A STRAY SHOT.

AN officer, in battle, happening to _bow_, a cannon-ball passed over his
head, and took off that of the soldier who stood behind him. "You see,"
said he, "that a man never loses by politeness."

CCCLIII.--MILESIAN ADVICE.

"NEVER be critical upon the ladies," was the maxim of an old Irish peer,
remarkable for his homage to the sex; "the only way in the world that a
true gentleman ever will attempt to look at the faults of a pretty
woman, is _to shut his eyes_."

CCCLIV.--MR. ABERNETHY.

A LADY who went to consult Mr. Abernethy, began describing her
complaint, which is what he very much disliked. Among other things she
said, "Whenever I lift my arm, it pains me exceedingly."--"Why then,
ma'am," answered Mr. A., "you area great fool for _doing so_."

CCCLV.--THE DEBT PAID.

To John I owed great obligation,
But John, unhappily, thought fit
To publish it to all the nation;
Sure John and I are more than quit.

CCCLVI.--EXTREMES MEET.

A CLEVER literary friend of Jerrold, and one who could take a joke, told
him he had just had "some calf's-tail soup."--"Extremes meet sometimes,"
said Je